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- a member for 21 years, 6 months and 3 days
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- has posted 7 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Inventions You're Too Lazy To Make
My Brother invented
a 99p coin, which i thought was a great idea.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 14:07, More)
My Brother invented
a 99p coin, which i thought was a great idea.
(Thu 8th Apr 2004, 14:07, More)
» Mini Cabs From Hell
Prague
I had just arrived, a lone female in a strange city, and was being driven to my hotel.
He was trying to explain in very bad English, that there was a big problem with pickpockets, and they will quite often slash your bag straps to nick the bag. I just didn't understand him, so he pulled out his own (fucking huge) knife to demonstrate the technique.
When I finished spacking out quite severely I realised he was only trying to overcome the language barrier in the medium of mime, and wassn't actually going to butcher me limb from limb simply to steal the few meagre Krona I had on me. Bless him.
I ended up giving him quite a good tip. Like, don't pull a knife on customers again.
(Fri 28th May 2004, 12:10, More)
Prague
I had just arrived, a lone female in a strange city, and was being driven to my hotel.
He was trying to explain in very bad English, that there was a big problem with pickpockets, and they will quite often slash your bag straps to nick the bag. I just didn't understand him, so he pulled out his own (fucking huge) knife to demonstrate the technique.
When I finished spacking out quite severely I realised he was only trying to overcome the language barrier in the medium of mime, and wassn't actually going to butcher me limb from limb simply to steal the few meagre Krona I had on me. Bless him.
I ended up giving him quite a good tip. Like, don't pull a knife on customers again.
(Fri 28th May 2004, 12:10, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
The Queen
When the Queen is in her ceremonial car, she does that silly circular wave out of the window.
My parents told me that she does that so much that she can't do it with her real hand, or it would get much too tired. So she has a mechanical hand that she operates by turning a handle, thus saving her real hand from harm.
Genius.
/edit: I spoke to my Mum about this last night, and apparently she nicked the idea from a Carry On film. That has ruined my illusion worse than finding out it wasn't true; I was so utterly impressed by the imagination and pointlessness of the lie. Boo. Mind you she also said that my younger Brother believed it until he was about 16. He's going to become a Dad himself this week, and I hope he lies to his kid in the same way.
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 11:03, More)
The Queen
When the Queen is in her ceremonial car, she does that silly circular wave out of the window.
My parents told me that she does that so much that she can't do it with her real hand, or it would get much too tired. So she has a mechanical hand that she operates by turning a handle, thus saving her real hand from harm.
Genius.
/edit: I spoke to my Mum about this last night, and apparently she nicked the idea from a Carry On film. That has ruined my illusion worse than finding out it wasn't true; I was so utterly impressed by the imagination and pointlessness of the lie. Boo. Mind you she also said that my younger Brother believed it until he was about 16. He's going to become a Dad himself this week, and I hope he lies to his kid in the same way.
(Thu 15th Jan 2004, 11:03, More)
» People with Stupid Names
All 100% of genuine
Mankyrat Patel
Vanisha Mistry
Paul Hiscock
Lloyd Lemon
Plus, I was once in a queue behind a middle aged lady, and the cashier took her credit card and could hardly contain herself laughing. "Thank you, Mrs. Bumhole," she said. To which Mrs. Bumhole replied, "It's Bum-oooooh-lay, actually"
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 21:22, More)
All 100% of genuine
Mankyrat Patel
Vanisha Mistry
Paul Hiscock
Lloyd Lemon
Plus, I was once in a queue behind a middle aged lady, and the cashier took her credit card and could hardly contain herself laughing. "Thank you, Mrs. Bumhole," she said. To which Mrs. Bumhole replied, "It's Bum-oooooh-lay, actually"
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 21:22, More)