» Customers from Hell

"I'll have your job for this!"
In my dead-end minimum-wage retail occupation, I long for next time someone utters the classic "I'll have your job for this!". Why? Well, I've had the ideal reply ready for some time now.

"Ooh, you wouldn't want it. The hours are long, the pay terrible, and you meet the rudest people".
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 19:40, More)

» The Credit Crunch

Well...
I've had to cut down to just one croissant per day; whilst sat out on the balcony, reading the newspaper, with a glass of wine, looking smug.
(Fri 23rd Jan 2009, 8:22, More)

» I Quit!

I quit!
I used to work in a research laboratory, we were working a few ideas, such as new types of shower curtains. But it was an ordeal from the day I started. I had to struggle harder and harder to get results. My closest colleague was just a dead weight. I had no end of hassle with the mainframe. And I ended up breaking someones heart, which I'm told killed them.

In the end I quit and left, when I found out the cake was a lie.
(Tue 27th May 2008, 22:54, More)

» IT Support

Here's a tale from a couple of years back:
We were installing an urgent upgrade to the mainframe. Management had given this job the highest priority, which completely stopped all work on improving the new fuel line de-icer which was meant to be bringing in the money.

You see, it was a morality module to stop her flooding the enrichment centre with neurotoxins.
(Fri 25th Sep 2009, 11:48, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Children!
Do you want to grow up and join b3ta?

Well, you'll have to choose - you can't do both.
(Fri 18th Sep 2009, 5:22, More)