Profile for catflap:
Comes from a land down under
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- a member for 1 year, 5 months and 15 days
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- has posted 8 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
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Comes from a land down under
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Spoilt Brats
Spoilt bastards
My mate spends billions on her kids - do they appreciate it? No way....
So everytime my mates not looking, I pinch the kiddies really hard....
No real life lesson there but who cares?!
Great times....
(Fri 10th Oct 2008, 5:40, More)
Spoilt bastards
My mate spends billions on her kids - do they appreciate it? No way....
So everytime my mates not looking, I pinch the kiddies really hard....
No real life lesson there but who cares?!
Great times....
(Fri 10th Oct 2008, 5:40, More)
» Unemployed
Sleep glorious sleep
I haven't been unemployed for years but after I finished art college, I lived the artists life; being pissed on Special Brew & Icebreaker, eating noodles, and sleeping all day...oh yeah and doing some painting too...it was OK if you could live on thruppence a week....
(Mon 6th Apr 2009, 21:12, More)
Sleep glorious sleep
I haven't been unemployed for years but after I finished art college, I lived the artists life; being pissed on Special Brew & Icebreaker, eating noodles, and sleeping all day...oh yeah and doing some painting too...it was OK if you could live on thruppence a week....
(Mon 6th Apr 2009, 21:12, More)
» Celebrities part II
Charles Dance et al
That Rory bloke with the redface & beard used to frequent my pub quite a lot...never abused me despite being often quite pished..bottle of red wine and some crisps for the train ride home...lovely fella...
Not like that Picasso who I had in the back of my cab the other night, and Betrand Russell...don't get me started...
GET OUT THE CAB!
(Wed 14th Oct 2009, 7:09, More)
Charles Dance et al
That Rory bloke with the redface & beard used to frequent my pub quite a lot...never abused me despite being often quite pished..bottle of red wine and some crisps for the train ride home...lovely fella...
Not like that Picasso who I had in the back of my cab the other night, and Betrand Russell...don't get me started...
GET OUT THE CAB!
(Wed 14th Oct 2009, 7:09, More)
» Celebrities part II
Tails (chortle) of the Unexpected
That silly wet bird; I had her...once
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:19, More)
Tails (chortle) of the Unexpected
That silly wet bird; I had her...once
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:19, More)
» Pubs
black midget
I managed a lot of pubs in the 90's, and one fine esatablishment in Kings Cross strikes a real chord for me....Being a Kings Cross pub, we had to perfrom regular toilet checks to stop the hoardes of junkies booting up in our conveniences; in the midst of one such check, i realised that the cubicle in the womens lavvy had been occupied for quite some time; a quick shufty under the door revealed a syringe, lemon and other heroin-user paraphenalia. I banged on the door but to no avail, so i called the cops. Railway police turn up and the situation is explained. By now there is me and four Rail cops in a very small ladies toilet....After much cajoling they get the occupant to open up; turns out that it's a transexual waiting for his snippy op; so the cops arrest him and have a good laugh saying that despite being womanish (and having two thirds 'lady bits') this dude will get sent to a mans pris(on) cos he's down as a male on his birth cert...ANYWAY...while this is going on I notice that the other cubicle has also been locked for quite some time. I point this out to the rozzers who take a peek over the top of the door. "Come on out!" they say...
And that's when a tiny black midget bloke sheepishly comes out of the bog...Fuck me dead! He's wearing a false plaster cast on his arm, which the cops removed to find a large swag of cash and several balloons of smack...and so off they all go to the copshop...BLIMEY! What a night...Length? Black dwarf was about four inches...True story...honest
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 1:12, More)
black midget
I managed a lot of pubs in the 90's, and one fine esatablishment in Kings Cross strikes a real chord for me....Being a Kings Cross pub, we had to perfrom regular toilet checks to stop the hoardes of junkies booting up in our conveniences; in the midst of one such check, i realised that the cubicle in the womens lavvy had been occupied for quite some time; a quick shufty under the door revealed a syringe, lemon and other heroin-user paraphenalia. I banged on the door but to no avail, so i called the cops. Railway police turn up and the situation is explained. By now there is me and four Rail cops in a very small ladies toilet....After much cajoling they get the occupant to open up; turns out that it's a transexual waiting for his snippy op; so the cops arrest him and have a good laugh saying that despite being womanish (and having two thirds 'lady bits') this dude will get sent to a mans pris(on) cos he's down as a male on his birth cert...ANYWAY...while this is going on I notice that the other cubicle has also been locked for quite some time. I point this out to the rozzers who take a peek over the top of the door. "Come on out!" they say...
And that's when a tiny black midget bloke sheepishly comes out of the bog...Fuck me dead! He's wearing a false plaster cast on his arm, which the cops removed to find a large swag of cash and several balloons of smack...and so off they all go to the copshop...BLIMEY! What a night...Length? Black dwarf was about four inches...True story...honest
(Tue 10th Feb 2009, 1:12, More)