» Accidental innuendo

What was the conference about?

"I'm at a conference today. The chief executive of the Public Health authority has just started her presentation by apologising to delegates for not standing as she fell off her bike last week and has a big gash at the top of her leg".
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 16:41, More)

» The Dark

Lights out.
On a church youth weekend in Scarborough the usual problems of getting teenagers to settle. The lights had been out for quite some time and eventually the giggling, farting all stopped for a moments silence broken by Kate, "Put it away Craig! I'm not in the mood!"
(Wed 29th Jul 2009, 18:15, More)

» Buses

Pink lighting and classical music is the answer.
The male line of my family at one time or another have all been coach drivers (there is a difference) who have occasionally done bus routes.
The firm we used to work for had a couple of council subsidised services that the main bus operator, Badgerline now part of First had given up claiming they weren't commercial but mainly due to the number of pissheads who travelled late at night. One of these was the last bus at about 11pm from Bristol to Portishead. This was back when pubs shut at 11. You never took any money and just passed Badgerline return ticket. Usually you got one of the older very basic coaches that only came out when everything else had been used because it would come back strewn with chip papers, curry cartons and even a used condom. One night my dad drove it and for some reason the vehicle he had been allocated while several years old would have been a luxury vehicle in it's day. Trapezoid windows, couple of tables with lamps and little floral decorations. The muted lighting cast a pinkish hue and he had Radio 3 playing. The effect the pissed/stoned punters was amazing. Not even a dropped bus ticket to clear up.
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 9:01, More)

» Housemates

Camping.
A friend of mine was living in Halls at Birmingham Uni. He was also Akela of a local cub pack. He took the cubs camping for a weekend and while he was a way his housemates emptied his room, turfed it and pitched a tent inside. As Jon was rather busy when he returned he spent a couple of nights under canvas before he could sort it out.
(Sun 1st Mar 2009, 21:32, More)

» IT Support

Doris
Doris (not her real name) is the sole female representative of the IT department. Knows her stuff and is very attractive too. New phone system has been installed but my phone is dead. Doris is despatched to breathe life into it. The way their heads popped up like meerkats you would have thought my colleagues had never seen a woman before. I had a lot going on so she crawls under the desk while I carry on working. I hear a "while you're down there love" from somewhere in the office.
When I finish what I'm doing I move away to give her space and watch (her)what she is doing. After a few minutes she asks if I can help. Of course I can. She hands me a cable and knowing she has the attention of the whole office asks me to "push it up and wiggle it."
(Fri 25th Sep 2009, 20:45, More)