» Devastating Put-Downs

Simple. Perfect
Mate from work meets Mrs. Alchemist for the first time. She nips off to the toilet.

him "what's the story?"
me "huh!"
him "well... she's really good looking and you're... well... [points at face] you know"
(Thu 24th Nov 2011, 16:51, More)

» What nonsense did you believe in as a kid?

how times change
I had seen the lights on the dashboard and heard the indicator whenever we were coming up to a turn but it took longer than it should have for me to notice the indicator stalk.

For years I thought the car knew where we were going and told my Dad when we were approaching a turn.
(Thu 19th Jan 2012, 18:28, More)

» Pointless Experiments

I was probably destined to become a scientist
You know the story about 'your eyes shut when you sneeze because if they didn't yor eyes would be forced from their sockets'?

It is a lie. Conclusively proven by a disbelieving 6 or 7 year old me with the help some gaffer tape and pepper (and at the price of some sections of eyebrow). The disappointment of finding out that not everything you are told can be taken at face value is still palpable.

Crivvens knows what I'd have done had it proved true.
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 8:17, More)