» Conversation Killers

In a posh shop in Harrogate a month or two back
I was standing around bored whilst my better half was looking at clothes when a mum with her baby in a pram came in. The very nice old lady who was running the shop started chatting to her and asked her the baby's name, having been told it was Jack she said to him, "Jack's a lovely name I can't think of any nasty Jacks"

I think to myself, "Yeah, except the Ripper" and have a wry smile. Then I realise that I didn't so much think it as say it loudly enough for everyone in the shop except my fiancee to hear, a truely deafening silence follows. Ten pairs of eyes all staring daggers at me when I try to make the situation better by saying, "Well they weren't sure that was his real name." My better half comes over takes one quick look at the situation, looks at me with a classic "what have you done?" look and forcilbly drags me from the store.
(Wed 18th May 2011, 13:13, More)

» The Boss

is ace..
...and he's not reading this over my shoulder!

Pissing it down yesterday, so I do the nice thing and drive my girlfriend to work rather than let her get soaked waiting for public transport.

Didn't get to my desk until 9:30 (recommended start time 8-8:30) he just says "Morning Hating - coffee?" We bitch about a bunch of twunts the senior management are. He signs my expenses off with a wink and then at 3:30 he goes, "I'm done for the day - pub? Company's buying"

If it weren't for him I'd have gone postal in this job many a time.
(Thu 18th Jun 2009, 15:28, More)

» Turning into your parents

Depressing reality
When as a teenager you thought your parents' views on pretty much everything were morally repugant.

14 years on, you find yourself agreeing with them as they seem to be grounded in a lot of common sense.
(Mon 4th May 2009, 11:08, More)

» Good Advice

From my late Dad
When I told him that was I was going to propose:

"You've got to love her, you've got to like her and you've got to be able to live with her - all three"

Fortunately I do.
(Tue 25th May 2010, 21:19, More)

» Helicopter Parents

Informed a temp that their services were no longer required.
For very justifiable reasons. Had a bit of a chortle about a 22 year old having a screaming fit that would put a 5 year old to shame even if you'd just stamped their favourite puppy to death. 2 hours later I got Daddy ringing me up, calling me all the names under the sun and threatening me with violence. Seemed like a reasonable sort, so I spent the next ten minutes explaining the combination of factors that led to his son becoming surplus to requirements. Quite a long list but theft, fraud and incompetence featured heavily. A lovely long pause then followed, Daddy shouted for his offspring and finished our call with a subdued, "Thanks for telling me that, I won't be bothering you again". I'd have paid good money to have been a fly-on-the-wall in that house for the next hour or so.
(Tue 15th Sep 2009, 13:11, More)