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» Performance

Stand up
I'm a regular on the open mic circuit in london and recently had a paid compering spot in front of 80 people all hen nights and stag do's. With a front row made up entirely of rowdy women I decided my first point of call was to tell this joke 'I've had a bad week, My mum's not been very well and my sister's just had a miscarriage...we're all going through a very bad period' it was met with shock, silence and then boo's to which I replied 'I thought women found miscarriaging HILARIOUS!?' ...I had to keep going back on after the acts to be greeted with incesant booing, jeering and shouts of 'you wanker!' but I thought i'd stay strong and stick to my guns and so referred to the evening I was having as 'how a jew might feel returning to Auschwitz for the first time' this was then followed by a plastic cock flying into my face. After that the crowd seemed to find anything they could to throw at me, plastic glasses and 2 more plastic cocks. It was the worst gig i've ever done and I usually go down quite well, but even stating this fact didn't seem to settle the cloud of angry estrogen that had filled the room. I ended with how both the marriages would eventually end one way or another, either with divorce or death and that i hoped it would be the latter, sooner rather than later. Bitter, a little bit...
(Mon 22nd Aug 2011, 14:02, More)