» Exposed!

Exposure followed by rapid shrinkage
Years ago I was travelling around Europe with two friends. We were sitting on a park bench in Brno (in the Czech Republic) when I heard a low whistle behind me and turned my head to see a large man in an open trench coat with his erect knob in his hand, wanking and winking at me furiously.

Without a flicker I turned to my friends and hissed: 'don't look now, just grab the camera, there is a man behind me having a wank!'.

Obviously the first thing people do when you tell them not to look is, of course, look, and before the poor man knew what was happening he had three young women staring at him, cackling loudly and hysterically like a set of demented witches, all pointing at the rapidly deflating member that he had been so proud of just mere seconds ago.

He ran off, followed by the echoes of our derisive laughter, his cock still hanging out but no longer quite in the class of a cock or a knob; now it was nothing but a tiny frightened willy desperately trying to shrink its way up into his body.

Unfortunately no photo was taken for posterity.
(Mon 12th Aug 2013, 16:53, More)

» MTFU

Damsel saves a gentleman in distress
At the moment I'm staying with my parents who have a hotel in the tropics.

The other night a man came up and asked me to please remove a couple of spiders from his room as they were too big and he couldn't handle them.

He was at least 2m tall and must have weighed around 120kg.

I am a 1m60 female and tip the scales at 48kg after a big dinner.

I gently ushered the (2 inch - which is tiny here) spiders out of his room with my hands while his girlfriend stared at him in disgust.

I don't think he got any that night.
(Tue 6th Aug 2013, 15:38, More)

» Little Moments of Joy

Charming Chav
I was walking back from work in the rain on a Saturday, in a foul mood due to the combination of a crap day, soaked shoes and having to work during the weekend.

Suddenly a track-suited and hoodied chav walking towards me poked his emaciated and pale face under the edge of my broken umbrella and I stiffened, expecting to be called a cunt, grabbed by the chest, offered drugs, told to go back to my own country or threatened with rape (all of which has happened before with this type).

Instead, he looked deep into my eyes, murmured 'you're beautiful' and was gone.

He must have been on some very good drugs or his vision was blurred by the rain as my thunderous face and bird's nest of rain-frizzed hair would not have made me any more of an oil-painting than I am at the best of times but still, my day suddenly became a lot brighter.
(Sun 26th Jan 2014, 9:08, More)

» Lurid Work Stories

Electrocution daisy chain
As mentioned before I grew up in a small Asian country where health and safety is interpreted slightly differently (i.e. broken plugs that are repaired by removing the plug altogether and sticking the bare wires straight into the wall socket, for example, all very 'there, I fixed it' kind of things).

The handyman in the factory where my dad worked was repairing something that involved a live wire in the pouring rain and obviously within seconds he was doing a funny dance with his hair sticking straight up. His colleague grabs him and ends up doing a funny dance too. So HIS friend goes to help him etc...

Four people were hospitalised in the end.

Also not an isolated incident as a few years later an entire family in our street was wiped out the same way!
(Thu 12th Sep 2013, 10:32, More)