» Tactless

Diana's death
late 90's I was working on Foulness Island, so would stop in great Wakering - a little village with a lot of posh residents - to get a newspaper.
it must have been about 4 days after the death, and as I took my paper to the counter I said to the shopkeep "Bloody Diana on the front page again! when are they going to get over that old tart's death"

shopkeeper look aghast and the other early morning shoppers just stopped what they were doing and looked daggers at me.

Unfortunately she was destined to remain on the front page for weeks afterwards. Even bloody supermarkets had books of condolence!
I never, NEVER, understood the emotion that people invested in that old tart
(Sat 5th Nov 2011, 12:16, More)

» Road Trip

1978, road trip to scotland
During the break between college and getting a real job, my friend and I decided to go on a road trip from London to the lake district - to see what the countryside was like.
we took tents and just enough money for petrol and beer.
one night after a long drinking session we decided that we were so close to Scotland, we may as well go there for a visit.... sometime around midnight, i started driving up the road and finally crossed the border near Gretna. I passed the wheel over to my friend and promptly lay down in the back to sleep.
I awoke the next day to some magnificent stunning scenery out the car window.... I went out to recycle some lager and realised we were back in lake district.
My friend had decided we would spend too much on petrol if we went touring Scotland, so had promptly turned around and driven us back to the same place we had been drinking the night before.

and that's the only time I have ever been to Scotland..... but TBH, I don't think I'm missing much
(Fri 15th Jul 2011, 20:31, More)

» Sexual fetishes

My sexual fetish..... a history
When I was a young boy, probably 5 or 6, I had a babysitter. a sweet, kind and attractive girl (maybe 14 or 15) who lived across the road from us.

When she needed to pee, the only bathroom in our house was at the top of the stairs, and she couldn't really leave a hyperactive young lad running around to potentially fall down the stairs.
so, she would always pee with the door wide open.......

fast forward 30+ years and guess what my total, absolute, greatest, numero uno, mind-blowing fetish is?
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 11:47, More)

» School Naughtiness

Just another wank story
4th form lunch time. we were allowed to bring records (remember them?) into school and play them on the school dansette in the school hall, like some impromptu crappy disco.
as someone who had brought a record in (probably 'Diamond Dogs', by Bowie) I was amongst the hallowed few who were allowed on the stage area..... where Miss R (the student teacher), had left her scarf. her perfumed, sexy, erotically, charged scarf.
I swiped the scarf and took it into the nearby lavvies and wrapped it around my face while I had a quick onanistic fumble.
I managed to get it back just in time and with no stains
(Thu 8th Sep 2011, 19:42, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

football
overpaid ponces running around after a ball.
OK i can understand the attraction if *you* are the one running after the ball, or if the ball chaser is a 6 year old progeny of your loins, but seriously.... 90 minutes of this????
(Fri 16th Oct 2009, 15:11, More)