» First rude thing I ever saw

One that the mother cracks out for new girlfriends...
A short one really. My father was a particularly aggressive driver, and my mother used to be able to keep him, or rather his language, calm during journeys when they were both in the car. However, after one drive when I was around two (I don't remember this, just to be clear), my father clearly let loose a string of obscenities, as later on when at home, I was playing with my cars like an innocent cherub and saying "vrrrrroommmmm..... arsehole.... vrrrrrrooooooommm... arsehole". My father's continued laughter at this made me realise that this word was funny, much to my mother's chagrin.
(Fri 12th Aug 2011, 17:26, More)

» Little Victories

Mexican foods
Chilangos have opened a restaurant (if you can call it that, I don't know how to define such a place!) in Sheffield, and their food goes down particularly well as a hangover cure, or generally as a quick and tasty way to destroy hunger pangs.
Anyway, they put their prices up by a pound, and I thought I'd voice my (possibly slightly drunken) opinion on their facebook page, whinging about how I'm a poor man and the price increase has devastated me and has caused me to be deprived from the delicious goodies that they provide.
Having forgotten about this, I then recieved a message from an employee offering me 3 free burritos for me and two friends (or just me, as I'm a fat shit). I decided to use this on a day in which Sheffield had been hit hard with the snow. I was given five burritos and all the nachos I could eat as a result of being on of about five customers that was stupid enough to traipse to Meadowhell in the ridiculous weather. That was lunch for a fair while.
(Fri 11th Feb 2011, 16:24, More)

» School Naughtiness

Failure to understand...
I used to have packed lunches, and, as with most teenaged boys, I wasn't a huge fan of cherry tomatoes, which my mother insisted I have. As a result, a number of amusing pranks were initiated, none of which had any significant consequence apart from one notable day, when our sister school was visiting to promote the joint choir tour with our school (yes, I know, posh school). Our tutor room overlooked the main entrance, and they were having photographs taken for the local paper. Naturally, the intelligent thing to do was to throw tomatoes at the assembled choir members (who were clearly gay... ahem). However, I didn't realise that my fellow classmates were aiming to miss. My only shot hit the photographer plum on the top of his balding head. I've never received such a bollocking in my life, especially from my parents, who, it turns out, found the whole situation bloody hilarious.
(Tue 13th Sep 2011, 14:34, More)