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Profile for albatross! aka Rameses Niblick III:
Profile Info:

I'm but a mere newbie... so be kind!
This is me, by the way....




And some stuff that I've submitted so far... nothing very clever yet, but give me time!

Alone in the mortuary, Billy could feel his grandfather's presents.


THE BIRTH OF EXAGGERATION
Washday in the garden of Eden, and Adam was fooling nobody...






















Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Old People Talk Bollocks

Knowing that I'd got a keyboard for my 10th birthday
My gran spotted the ideal birthday card for me - it had a cartoon of somebody playing the keyboard on it.

She obviously hadn't read the inscription on the front though.

"Happy birthday! Tonight we could make beautiful music together, just you and me... and your organ."

*shudders*
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 6:14, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

During a school trip to Windsor castle in 1992
I regret stealing the battery from a smoke alarm for a dare.
(Sat 7th Oct 2006, 18:45, More)

» My Worst Date

so very wrong...
Back in the mid-90s heyday of running my old mobile disco, I pulled some girl at a party I was playing at. She made it very clear she was up for some action, but of course at the age of 18, I was still living with my parents, as was she. This problem would normally be solved by going for a little drive in the country in my trusty Talbot Horizon, but the car would be full to the rafters with disco kit at the end of the night. The only thing we could do was go for a little walk after the party.

We end up in the doorway of a village church in the middle of nowhere. I'm attempting to go down on her while she's getting a cold arse from the damp stone floor, but we're both basically having a good time, that is until a bunch of drunken chavs wander through the graveyard and start shouting at us, and we both leg it out of there. We get separated somehow, and the night ends with me spending an hour hiding in somebody's garden, while said chavs spend an hour wandering up and down the road trying to spot me. Fun.

Amazingly, I meet up with party girl about a week later, and this time I am prepared. Dad's a vicar, so I know the house will be empty for a good couple of hours on sunday morning.

Cut to my bedroom, and some quality time spent fumbling around in that inexperienced adolescent way that I'm sure we're all familiar with. It's all good, until I realise to my cost how time flies when you're having fun, and I can hear mum approaching the bedroom door! Party girl hides behind the door, and I attempt to put my trousers on. Mum walks in, and in hindsight I wish she'd spotted the girl, rather than find her son alone in his room, sweaty, red-faced, and attempting to do up his jeans in a hurry. 'Nuff said.

It gets worse. I discover the next day from mates that she's only fifteen. Worse than that, she's only JUST fifteen. *shudder*

Please address any correspondance to the Gary Glitter & R. Kelly fanclub.
(Tue 26th Oct 2004, 12:33, More)

» Useless advice

I remember telling the french exchange students that visited our school
that the word "twattybollocks" was a friendly but respectful variation of "hello" that could be used with teachers.
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 17:03, More)

» My Collection

Video cameras
I have around 40 video cameras and camcorders, dating from the early 70s to the present day. I'm particularly proud of my Panasonic F10 camera, and the Sony Betamovie (a betamax camcorder), as well as the JVC shoulder mounted unit, as seen in Back to the Future...

Yes, I'm a geek.
(Thu 11th Jan 2007, 17:10, More)
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