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- a member for 13 years, 4 months and 26 days
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» The Police II
Perhaps they do have a sense of humour
One evening, in a town far, far, away (OK, Canterbury) after consuming a considerable quantity of cheap studenty beer, myself and friend were walking (staggering) back to college when we came across a corner shop with one of those tin signs advertising Walls Ice Cream outside - the kind like a free-standing sandwich board on the pavement. Always being on the lookout for such things to decorate our college kitchen, we picked it up between us and set off on our way. We'd only gone a few hundred yards when a cop car screeches to a halt and the copper winds his window down and leans out. "Do you want to put that back or spend the night in cells?" he enquires. My friend looks straight at the copper and says "Ooh, that's too difficult. Ask me one on politics instead." I can smell the police station cells at this stage. But the copper just sighed and said "Put it back." So we did.
(Fri 6th May 2011, 16:18, More)
Perhaps they do have a sense of humour
One evening, in a town far, far, away (OK, Canterbury) after consuming a considerable quantity of cheap studenty beer, myself and friend were walking (staggering) back to college when we came across a corner shop with one of those tin signs advertising Walls Ice Cream outside - the kind like a free-standing sandwich board on the pavement. Always being on the lookout for such things to decorate our college kitchen, we picked it up between us and set off on our way. We'd only gone a few hundred yards when a cop car screeches to a halt and the copper winds his window down and leans out. "Do you want to put that back or spend the night in cells?" he enquires. My friend looks straight at the copper and says "Ooh, that's too difficult. Ask me one on politics instead." I can smell the police station cells at this stage. But the copper just sighed and said "Put it back." So we did.
(Fri 6th May 2011, 16:18, More)
» School Naughtiness
Pity it coagulates in warm water
In the 6th Form we didn't have to go to games, and if we did, we could do what we liked. Including using the school swimming pool. They used to give us the keys and let us use it unsupervised (oh, happy days before Elfin Safety). On one occasion there was only me and my girlfriend so we started off skinny dipping, then had sex in the shallow end.
(Sun 11th Sep 2011, 18:30, More)
Pity it coagulates in warm water
In the 6th Form we didn't have to go to games, and if we did, we could do what we liked. Including using the school swimming pool. They used to give us the keys and let us use it unsupervised (oh, happy days before Elfin Safety). On one occasion there was only me and my girlfriend so we started off skinny dipping, then had sex in the shallow end.
(Sun 11th Sep 2011, 18:30, More)
» Stupid Colleagues
Oil!
My colleague Sean (pronounced Sharn - she was a girl) dipped the oil in her brand new car and seeing it was below the top mark on the dipstick, decided to put more in. She took off the filler cap, looked inside, saw there was no oil visible and just kept topping it up until the rocker cover was full. We only found out when she complained it wouldn't start.
(Sun 6th Mar 2011, 12:45, More)
Oil!
My colleague Sean (pronounced Sharn - she was a girl) dipped the oil in her brand new car and seeing it was below the top mark on the dipstick, decided to put more in. She took off the filler cap, looked inside, saw there was no oil visible and just kept topping it up until the rocker cover was full. We only found out when she complained it wouldn't start.
(Sun 6th Mar 2011, 12:45, More)
» Stupid Colleagues
What's my name?
One of the very senior VPs at a previous place of employment (a prestigious private bank) never used to log out of his Reuters terminal. So, if something happened to the system and he needed to log on, he used to call the Helpdesk (which I ran) to get his terminal logged on again. We'd set it up without a password to make it easier for him and his username was ... his name. Yes, he earned about £2M a year and couldn't remember his name.
(Sun 6th Mar 2011, 12:40, More)
What's my name?
One of the very senior VPs at a previous place of employment (a prestigious private bank) never used to log out of his Reuters terminal. So, if something happened to the system and he needed to log on, he used to call the Helpdesk (which I ran) to get his terminal logged on again. We'd set it up without a password to make it easier for him and his username was ... his name. Yes, he earned about £2M a year and couldn't remember his name.
(Sun 6th Mar 2011, 12:40, More)