b3ta.com user Fat_Lenny
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» The Great Outdoors

The 'Festival'
My most bizarre camping experience happened a few years ago... A friend of mine told me about a great local music festival that was happening in a couple of weeks, and she wanted to bring her boyfriend and his mate, but asked if I would come along so she wasn't the only girl.

Firstly we barely had any equipment, just sleeping bags, and none of us could afford a decent tent, so I decided to buy a £7.99 2-man-er from the local bargain warehouse. (probably should have taken it out of the case first, but more about that later...)

So the festival weekend arrives, we drive around for several hours trying to find the place, until we come across a small handwritten sign, directing us into this random farmer's field containing 2 marquees and a burger van.

The boys hadn't arrived yet so me and my friend decide to pitch the tent. We very quickly realised this was actually a kids play tent and would not accommodate 4 fully grown men and women. With nothing left to do but wait for the lads, we went to a beer stall... only to find this weird kid we knew from college manning the stall. He told us the event organisers hadn't managed to arrange an alcohol licence in time, but had found a loophole in the law which meant that they could 'raffle' the booze if it had tickets stuck on. So you paid £1 and 'won' a can of beer - a prize every time!

Later, my mate's 6' 4" boyfriend arrived with his tall skinny friend, plus plenty of booze and baggage, laughed heartily at our tent fail, and we went off to rave.

Night falls, rave continues, 4am the heavens open and we decide it's time for bed. In this tiny tent we were packed like a box of matchmakers (bags included), totally soaked, with our legs sticking out the velcro door. It had no lining and no waterproofing so effectively we’d have been better off sleeping under an umbrella.

Anyway, fortunately it hasn't put me off camping for good, and made a great “How did you get your chest infection?” story, though it's the first and last time I'll ever take a dump on an open riverbank!
(Tue 3rd Apr 2012, 16:37, More)

» Sporting Woe

We had a fire drill...
During the end of one Secondary School P.E lesson. I was exactly at that point in the changing room where you can't see which hole in your T-Shirt you're supposed to put your head through. I panicked and ended up running outside in my bra. The teacher sent me back inside to sort myself out! It would have been less embarrassing if I wasn't a fried egg chested 13 year old. Most fun I've ever had in P.E though... Except the time when one poor kid got KO'd by a flying trainer.
(Sun 22nd Apr 2012, 22:04, More)