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Hey! ninethousand (at) superfastninja (dot)com!
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Hey! ninethousand (at) superfastninja (dot)com!
My website.
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» Breakin' The Law
I guess I was the ringleader.
In university we had a lot of healthy rivalries among the different student clubs. Now one night, after (obviously) a night of rather heavy drinking, myself and a few friends decided that we should steal a few bales of hay that were in the quad (I went to university in the Canadian prairies, so the presence of about 200 bales of hay in quad isn't that surprising) and sort of brick in a rival club's office with them. We would have gotten away with it, but one of our number noticed that some idiot had left the club door unlocked, so we figured it would be even better to fill the whole room floor to ceiling with hay. This, of course, took a lot longer, giving Campus 5-0 time to catch us. I was the first one they saw, carrying a bale up the stairs into the building, and the cop asked me what I was doing. All I could think to say (pissed, remember) was "Uhhh, moving some hay?" She didn't think that was funny, and so assumed that I was in charge of the whole operation. They came down to survey the "damage". By this time at about 2:30 in the morning we had the room about three quarters of the way full. They decided that if we could clean the whole mess up by 4 am we would be free to go, not believing for a second we'd be able to do it. We actually managed it, surprisingly enough, the cops were still a little miffed at us. Apparently it's still breaking and entering even if the door isn't locked.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 0:01, More)
I guess I was the ringleader.
In university we had a lot of healthy rivalries among the different student clubs. Now one night, after (obviously) a night of rather heavy drinking, myself and a few friends decided that we should steal a few bales of hay that were in the quad (I went to university in the Canadian prairies, so the presence of about 200 bales of hay in quad isn't that surprising) and sort of brick in a rival club's office with them. We would have gotten away with it, but one of our number noticed that some idiot had left the club door unlocked, so we figured it would be even better to fill the whole room floor to ceiling with hay. This, of course, took a lot longer, giving Campus 5-0 time to catch us. I was the first one they saw, carrying a bale up the stairs into the building, and the cop asked me what I was doing. All I could think to say (pissed, remember) was "Uhhh, moving some hay?" She didn't think that was funny, and so assumed that I was in charge of the whole operation. They came down to survey the "damage". By this time at about 2:30 in the morning we had the room about three quarters of the way full. They decided that if we could clean the whole mess up by 4 am we would be free to go, not believing for a second we'd be able to do it. We actually managed it, surprisingly enough, the cops were still a little miffed at us. Apparently it's still breaking and entering even if the door isn't locked.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 0:01, More)
» Stuff You've Overheard
Intermission at a hockey game in Canada
There were these two drunk guys side by side at the urinals who clearly knew one another. I was towards the back of the queue, and one of these two leaned over to have a look at the other's. He then starts laughing loudly and says "Look at the little pecker on ya!" Of course every man in the room starts laughing including the fellow on the other side of Little Pecker. Little Pecker proceeds to lean over for a look, and comes out with "I don't know about the rest of these guys, but what are YOU laughing at?"
Good clean fun.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 22:44, More)
Intermission at a hockey game in Canada
There were these two drunk guys side by side at the urinals who clearly knew one another. I was towards the back of the queue, and one of these two leaned over to have a look at the other's. He then starts laughing loudly and says "Look at the little pecker on ya!" Of course every man in the room starts laughing including the fellow on the other side of Little Pecker. Little Pecker proceeds to lean over for a look, and comes out with "I don't know about the rest of these guys, but what are YOU laughing at?"
Good clean fun.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 22:44, More)
» People with Stupid Names
My biology teacher
in high school was called Dick Cocks. Seriously. Not even "Dick, short for Richard" Cox. Dick Cocks. Oh how we laughed.
(Sat 28th Aug 2004, 22:24, More)
My biology teacher
in high school was called Dick Cocks. Seriously. Not even "Dick, short for Richard" Cox. Dick Cocks. Oh how we laughed.
(Sat 28th Aug 2004, 22:24, More)