» Accidentally Erotic

Preliminary Oral Exams for my PhD
VERY stressful! I studied for months. I was to go before six full professors who would decide if I was good enough to pursue my PhD at an American Tier 1 research university, in a world-renowned entomology department (one of the top 10 in the country).

Because my proposed project dealt with the perception of odors by insects, they wanted to know if I understood the ins and outs of nerve transmission from an odor component.

"Well," I started off, "first, along a nerve axon, you have a polarity difference between the interior and exterior of the axon. As the impulse travels down the axon, ion channels open and the change in polarity propagates the signal." For illustration, I went to the board and drew:




"The signal reaches an area called the 'buton,' which I'll enlarge at the end of the axon for clarity."




"A neurotransmitter is needed for the signal to cross the synapse. This is accomplished by the binding of a neurotransmitter vessicle to the pre-synaptic membrane. The membrane opens and the neurotransmitter molecules flow out into the synapse to be taken up by receptors in the post-synaptic membrane."




Smug, I sat back down and we discussed other things, until my major prof said: "Getting back to the giant penis on the board..."

Six full professors of a major tier 1 research university with one of the top ten entomology departments in the country required several minutes to regain their composure.

B3ta, you'da been proud!
(Fri 3rd Feb 2006, 17:50, More)

» Personal Ads

Match.com
I wanted to use the Kasey Chambers song title (yes, I know!) "If I were you, I would notice me" as my headline.

It cut me off, so hotties all over the area were seeing:

"If I were you, I would not"

Strangely, I didn't get any responses...
(Thu 13th Sep 2007, 20:44, More)

» Lies I told on my CV

I didn't lie. I was just unqualified.
My current job involves termites (termites|setimret, imagine that!). Problem is, I had never seen a termite before I interviewed for the job.

On the interview, they took me out to the woods to show me their field site. I kicked over a piece of wood, and there were all these white bugs crawling around.

I looked nervously at my hosts, and I thought "I'll bet those are termites."

One of them said "Oh, look, there's a soldier running around."

"Ah, yes," I said, "look at him go!"

I had no idea what a soldier termite looked like.

I've been on the job for five years now.
(Thu 6th Jul 2006, 16:22, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

My mom's cousin
was called up for the draft for Vietnam.

They asked him if he ever committed suicide.

He thought it was such a stupid question he said yes.

They didn't take him.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 16:00, More)

» Work Experience

Not me, but a friend
Started his new job. On the first day, the guy showing him around (his name was Jim or something) said to my friend:

"I'm going to introduce you to Dave. Now whatever you do, DO NOT call him Michael."

"Why not?"

"Just don't. Trust me."

So for the next year, my friend worked with Dave, all the time straining not to slip up and call him Michael. He obsessed so much that it got harder and harder to call Dave "Dave" and not "Michael."

My friend and Dave got to be good friends, and finally my friend couldn't take it anymore. He had to know.

"So, why shouldn't people call you Michael?"

"What are you talking about?" Dave asked.

"When I started here Jim told me never, ever to call you Michael."

"Oh, that's just Jim. He does that to new people just to be a bastard."
(Thu 10th May 2007, 14:24, More)