b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Limericks » Message 10173640

[challenge entry] Ah.

From the Limericks challenge. See all 147 entries (closed)

(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:11, archived)
# ahaha
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:12, archived)
# pfft
who had a penis the shape of a lozenge?
(benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:12, archived)
# Ha ha!
Best so far.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:13, archived)
# Who went on a big drinking binge
He met a young maiden
Who gave him a hard-on
And spent all night poking her minge

FFS it's not that difficult
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, archived)
# And it's a half rhyme, daddy-oh.
(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:17, archived)
# Depends how you pronounce orange
Being from the Midlands I veer towards "o-rinj" (which would rhyme with minge) whereas my Canadian missus pronounces it as one syllable: "ornj"

She also pronounces squirrel as one syllable: "squirl"
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:20, archived)
# Reminds me of Eddie Izzard
(doing a gig in America) "there are lots of subtle differences between British and American English. You say "sidewalk" we say "pavement", you say "erbal" we say "herbal". Because there's a fucking H in it.
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:23, archived)
# Pfft
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:36, archived)
# I cannot work out how to indicate phonetically how I pronounce orange
It's somewhere between you and your missus, 2 syllables but with some sort of indeterminable vowel where you have an 'i'
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, archived)
# It's a half rhyme in this case cos it only rhymes with the second syllable.
To obey the rules of teh limerick it'd have to rhyme with both.
(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:36, archived)
# And...
Because the maiden is the last person mentioned,
it sounds like she spent all night poking her own minge.
Or was that deliberate?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:21, archived)
# Nah, read the last three lines together and it works
He met a young maiden - who gave him a hard-on - and spent all night poking her minge
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:23, archived)
# Firstly I never met this William of Orange
and secondly I take issue with people implying I poke anything let alone my minge!
*Huffs*
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:30, archived)
# Tee hee
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:34, archived)
# Sorry, but I disagree.
Notwithstanding the 'He met..' line,
after the young maiden is introduced there folows what appears to be an account of what she did:
who gave him a hard-on and spent all night poking her minge
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:43, archived)
# So what you're saying is that -
"Which gave him a hard-on"

rather than "Who gave him a hard-on"

would make it correct?

I see your point - or is that a hard-on?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:51, archived)
# I hadn't thought of that,
but it would be an elegant solution.
Good work!
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 13:03, archived)
# ...who was inordinately fond of the minge
Edit : Damn you, emvee!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, archived)
# ver good
(I helped save b3ta! thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:14, archived)
# Nicely done.
You could attempt 'syringe'.
(I helped save b3ta! Curis, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:31, archived)
# If you said it as "soringe". :)
(Jimbotfu Bummed in the gob again, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 12:38, archived)
# pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Thu 2 Sep 2010, 15:15, archived)
# Coffee, meet Keyboard.
Reminds me of my favourite Haiku:

Writing a poem
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffi...
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 9:28, archived)
# ...
...Who claimed nothing sounded like "orange".
Disproving it went he
To Abergavenny
And discovered the mountain named Blorenge
(I helped save b3ta! shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 16:19, archived)
# Simples
There was a man named William of Orange
Who trapped his pork sword in a door hinge
No more could he fap
The sad worm in his lap
Or diddle it round in much more minge
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 18:42, archived)