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# /hates self

Sorry, Wildylylylylyes

Also, apparently my dishwasher smells of dirty pussy. Should I be offended by this?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:02, archived)
# If you've been washing yours in the dishwasher... yes.
Otherwise, yes, and clean your dishwasher you dirty so and so.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:22, archived)
# It gets a bit hot in there for my bits
It was a bit ming in there, but I bleached the outlet and everything. It ought to smell lovely and chlorine-y.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:29, archived)
# you bleached the outlet and everything, I'd expect it will smell lovely and chlorine-y
but what about the dishwasher?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
# Doesn't everyone like orifices bleach-fresh of an evening?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:34, archived)
# :D
I love the smell of chlorine in the morning.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:31, archived)
# You're right.
Un-edited :)
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:33, archived)
# I know it's a fun thing to explore new ways to use domestic appliances and it feels great and all
but it's JUST WRONG

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:28, archived)
# It does do a good rumble during the expulsion cycle
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:30, archived)
#

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:31, archived)
# Pfft
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:33, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:28, archived)
# Wait, what does "trying to write goo" mean?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:40, archived)
# I write goo
I don't like saying, "I write romance." Goo is better (and more descriptive of the juices).
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:44, archived)
# I'm writing a short story I'll probably turn into a zine series one day
derived from anecdotes I write in my sketchbook from time to time.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:46, archived)
# Oooh.
If you ever need someone to be a beta reader, feel free to gaz me :)
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:48, archived)
# I may very well do :D
The way it looks now, it cuts from first person anecdotes to traditional speech bubbles quite a bit. Might have to sort that out, so it's not too distracting.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:04, archived)
# Yes
I enjoy getting pedantic about that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# Or leave it as it is and just say it's your style.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# It's almost like Rorschach's sections in Watchmen, but somehow more deranged.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:33, archived)
# Is this what you intended?
If not, is it actually a bad thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:34, archived)
# It wasn't intentional at all.
But it is by no means a bad thing. I'm thinking of cutting it down a bit though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:45, archived)
# If you've never read Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast Of Champions
It might make you feel a little better about playing fast and loose with style. It's really fun to read psycho jumpy stuff where you honestly don't know what the author will do next.
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 23:33, archived)
# NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU FOXWORTH!
I'm trying to talk to the nice lady about orifices.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:48, archived)
# Saw a blow up doll... I think it was a secretary.
The box said she had 3 working offices.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:52, archived)
# BOOM BOOM!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# Because, you know, now you're telling jokes like that famous tv fox.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Coriander Comb.
You know the one.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:56, archived)
# Tarragon De-tangler?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:59, archived)
# Sage Scrunchie?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:00, archived)
# No - it was Harissa Hair-Grip
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# You mean Saffron and Sorrel, the Straightener Sisters.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:03, archived)
# And their father, Curry Leaf Coiffeur
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:05, archived)
# Cousin to Chervil Curlers.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:07, archived)
# Wait, we're not running through character names for your next book are we?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# *folds up laptop and runs*
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:10, archived)
# Is bleach-fresh on the agenda of your next intimate scene?
If not, why not?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:47, archived)
# Haha
I am quite tempted now.
"Hey, baby, you smell just like my mum's bathroom!"
*She groans* "I thought it would remind you of your teenage years."
"Yeah, and your pubes are now blonde like hers too!"
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:51, archived)
# Ten points if you get in the line "Toilet duck! Oh baby... how did you know?"
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:52, archived)
# THAT's why the nozzle is that shape!
Edit: also, getting a brand name like that into a fantasy genre book is going to be challenging. Maybe if there was a lemon-scented pet duck which lived in the bathroom... But the heroine would still have to rub herself on it. Could be considered animal cruelty.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Hahahaha, actu-lols.
You're onto a winner.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:56, archived)
# It could be a rubber duck.
ed: oh right fantasy. Make it the Commode Swan.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# "Oooo I love how the neck bends just right!"
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:05, archived)
# A heroine who is destined to save the world, has an all-powerful king for a husband and an arse as neat as a rounded peach
Keeps a swan in a commode with which to freshen her lady parts.

You're right. It could sell.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# To wipe away the royal leavings.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:09, archived)
# I wash my cats in the bathtub
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:41, archived)
# that is probably more humane
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:43, archived)
# If they're the size of cows you'd bloody have to.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:43, archived)
# They just look like cows.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:54, archived)
# they-just-look-like-cow-cats doesn't have the same ring as a username.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:58, archived)
# Now that I think of it, they may be cows. Just far away.
I'm off for a bike ride. And to check on the nest box I made for the baby crow that was in need yesterday.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:11, archived)
#
r
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:14, archived)
# so they don't chew the cud?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:00, archived)
# lol
I think I've been on b3ta too long as I can't see a pie chart with gin and tonic on it without wanting to see jamnog. :D
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:15, archived)
# I think a pickled onion jar of gin and tonic would make an excellent "what the fuck" present for housewarmings.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:26, archived)
# sod housewarmings
I have wedding gifts to buy this year!
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:30, archived)
# Weddings too.
Funerals... eh, play your crowd.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:31, archived)
# I googled Jamnog, gin and tonic... and this is what I found
www.b3ta.com/board/9148830
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:29, archived)
# Lets just say we had some issues when I did the first London bash.
It involved what Mu said outside a café at 8am, falling asleep propping my front door open (I live at work)and then passing out in the middle of the garden after destroying my strawberry patch.

One minute in is probably best
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:34, archived)
# Hehe :) Sorry to hear about your strawberries. I am hoping to have enough to make a very small fruit salad by the end of the summer
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:40, archived)
# I still find the idea of a picked onion jar full of gin on tonic somehow awesome.
ed: what the hell is gin on tonic?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:40, archived)
# it is pretty sexeh (and genuinely something I could steal to put in a book...)
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:42, archived)
# You make poor commode swan cry.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# My apologies. Anyway, I'm off to watch Kevin Sorbitol in Hercules. Laters.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:50, archived)
# apart from the gin
and the tonic. the jar sounds awesome, though.
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:43, archived)
# If you had the constitution though:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# Jesus, what is my fat face doing in there?

Haha, I remember Jamnog sitting slumped in your doorway was the very first sighting I got of the b3ta/bash people.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:44, archived)
# I remember Dixon placing pennies on this crotch.:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:04, archived)
# Yeah, but he does that to everyone
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 21:29, archived)