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[challenge entry] Quick and dirty, like your mom

From the Royal Baby challenge. See all 21 entries (closed)

(LokiMD, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:23, archived)
# commemorative shoehorns etched with a picture of the royal placenta
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:24, archived)
# Use one to sever the umbilical
That would strike a cord.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:27, archived)
# GO TO YOUR ROOM!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:39, archived)
# The one with the four poster bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:43, archived)
# i'd never have a 4-poster bed
too paranoid to have curtains around my bed. what if the zombies sneak up on me and i can't see them till it's too late?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 May 2015, 15:48, archived)
# zombies HATE mosquitos
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 2 May 2015, 16:20, archived)
# how do you think the mosquitoes feel?
all they want is a nice feed of warm, runny blood, but what they get is like trying to suck up a mcdonald's milkshake made of clots! sodding zombies should count themselves lucky!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 May 2015, 16:22, archived)
# Mmmm, blood pudding
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 2 May 2015, 17:05, archived)
# dammit, now i want black pudding
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 2 May 2015, 17:23, archived)
# Filth.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Sat 2 May 2015, 19:33, archived)
# OH NO
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 2 May 2015, 16:25, archived)
#
Wasn't expecting a FP. Thank you :)

My two FPs are both royal related. I'm scared.
(LokiMD, Sat 2 May 2015, 19:37, archived)