b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Bad Song, Worse Movie » Message 1306765

[challenge entry] Morning all

Click to bigify.


Previously on this channel...
GreenSleeves
Row the boat ashore
5-6-7-8
Kumbaya

From the Bad Song, Worse Movie challenge. See all 726 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:25, archived)
# That
rawks
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:26, archived)
# THERE'S
A HUGE SPIDER SITTING IN MY DRAWER.
and the drawer is see through and i can see it and it's horrid and i don't know what to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:27, archived)
# You have see-through drawers?
Cor.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:28, archived)
# *fnar*
(I helped save b3ta! King Ralph is drunk, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# badum



tish
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# If my situation
wasn't so terrifying I'd no doubt laugh
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:30, archived)
# leave the room
and the house
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:31, archived)
# wahooo
snigger
(I helped save b3ta! thebear is thebear, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:35, archived)
# pour as much cola as possible into the drawer
or use a vacuum cleaner to suck and squidge
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:28, archived)
# it's like
a filing thingy so it has work in. And the spiders sitting underneath AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WHILE IT'S THERE
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# just throw the whole lot out
or befriend the spider.
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:30, archived)
# Honestly...
let it climb onto a bit of paper and put it out the door... poor little thing is probably more scared than you!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:31, archived)
# so you can't
take it outside and tip it up? or get someone else to?

Morning, btw
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:31, archived)
# That's the worst excuse for not doing work I've ever heard.
/Goes off to find spider
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# burn it
with a handy aerosol can. You might burn your work/house down, but hey-ho
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# at least you don't have one of
these in your room
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# shield bugs
aren't scary.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# i found one of those in my bed once
i didn't sleep properly for a week
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Like Alien,
you don't dare kill it.

some smallened writing of no consequence here
(Smudger, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:38, archived)
# Aw I like them
we made friends with one that was in our house.
(Amerella, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:41, archived)
# You could try
the old cup and paper trick - get it to go in the cup then put a bit of paper over the top and let it out of the door...
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Or you could always
do to it what my girlfriends asks me to do everytime she sees a spider.

KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! KIILLLLL IIIITTTTTT!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:31, archived)
# but they get upset when you run over a rabbit
i'm telling you, women = mental.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# you can't kill things
that's horrid. I'd probably rather pick a spider up than ask someone to kill it. Maybe
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Good girl!
I pick them up too - bit scary but just think of something else! Like kittens or clouds or unicorns...whatever floats yer boat!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:34, archived)
# it's ok to ask people to kill stuff?
cool, I really don't like my supervisor. Anyone free for some "wet-work"?
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:35, archived)
# no, it's not ok!
You can't kill things! Or people!
And it's not like you do any work anywayyy
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:36, archived)
# cheeky!
having said that, I've done f**k all this morning, and I'm just about to do a quick paintmash before lunch.

No b3ta today then eh?
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:39, archived)
# shhh
that was before my tragic spider incident! How the fuck am I supposed to work with a big evil spider staring at me?!
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:42, archived)
# People who kill
spiders? Grrr...
I remember eating my lunch with a coupla people one day - the cheese from my roll went all over the ground.
A few minutes later I saw a tiny ant dragging a hyooj lump of cheese along. I told the guys to take a look. One was mightily impressed, the other stomped on it.
He got a fuckin' earful - the bad bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:41, archived)
# I hate people
who do that! They might be horrifically scary but they don't have to die.
(that's not ants by the way, even I can handle them)
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:43, archived)
# I used to catch them
all the time, but recently we've been getting loads more and Fictional Kerry hates them, and its easier just to squish them.
I understand that I will go to hell.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:43, archived)
# Yes.
Yes you will.
Can't you get some sort of powder to sort of... deter them?
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:46, archived)
# Probably,
but we now live in an upstairs maisonette and I was expecting to get less. We get the same amount as before, they're just bigger. I suppose they have to be to be able to climb up.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:50, archived)
# Yes
but they usually want money, possibly lots. Get a homeless person to do it - they'll do it for much less!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Tell them
your boss has a can of Tenents Super hidden about his person and tramps will do it for free.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:41, archived)
# True!
Please don't kill the spider though - karma and all that! One day you might be a spider (you never know) and you would hate to be hit with 'The Sun' or some trash like that!!!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Diggin' the
see through drawers though!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Think fast Mr Moto!
Hint: Spider big relative to other spiders. Spider tiny compared to you.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:30, archived)
# Ooooo
*reaches enlightenment*
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# Very futuristic
if you leave it, when it dies, it'll be in your drawer, and then you won't ever be able to use that drawer again...

im going to hell
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:30, archived)
# unless it has laid its eggs there
in which case in about a week there's be THOUSANDS of tiny spiders in the draw, itching to get out... and feed...
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# STOP IT
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# think about them, lora, all those spiders with their teeth...
anyway, see you later.

/walks away whistling.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:33, archived)
# i hate you!
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:35, archived)
# and you thought i was nice!
ha ha haaaa
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:42, archived)
# rest assured
I don't anymore! And to think I was going to ask if you wanted to go to a comedy club sometime..
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:44, archived)
# it's shock therapy
we're only doing this because we love you.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:47, archived)
# no
you're doing it because you're sadistic and no doubt it brings you great pleasure to imagine me in discomfort :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:49, archived)
# That's about right
think of your icon.... a spider of that size can't really grow that much, but multiply.

sorry
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:54, archived)
# i get pleasure from imagining you
in SO many ways...

ps. if we're making you uncomfortable, decamp to the library and revise.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:59, archived)
# Ok
i won't mention to you that tiny spiders can get everywhere, shoes, cloths, anywhere. You won't know about it untill you see them, like a swarm of ants.

Your floor will be 'moving', just slowly, subtaly, you'll notice one, then a few. You'll relise that they are hundreds, no, thousends, all laying there eggs....
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:34, archived)
# are you trying
to make me cry?
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:35, archived)
# apparently you swallow five spiders a year
while you sleep
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:36, archived)
# almost 2 kilos of insects in a lifetime
86% of reasonably acurate FACT!
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:38, archived)
# This really
isn't helping.
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:40, archived)
# that utter BOLLOCKS
sorry - and spiders don't have teeth either
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:39, archived)
# yay!
i like Darkedge :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:40, archived)
# No,
they have mandibles of death.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:41, archived)
# that is the best sentence you have
ever typed.

i love you.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:42, archived)
# sadly
I stole that from Calvin and Hobbes, but it seemed appropriate to add there.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:45, archived)
# Some spiders have teath
like the kind that eat small birds,

but it's not the teath that'll get you, its the fact that when they crawl about, over your face, into your mouth and up your nose, it can get into your lungs. Clog up your mouth.

you would spit them out, but more keep on coming. Laying eggs.

Is that a spider on your hair, or just an itch?
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:46, archived)
# You people are terrible!
tee hee!
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:48, archived)
# im just praying I don't see a spider....
that WOULD scare me.
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:51, archived)
# But never
EVER Read "Web" By John Wyndam - very good book, but definately not for aracnophobes
(I helped save b3ta! Darkedge, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:42, archived)
# i swallow
more than that when i'm awake
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:39, archived)
# Nice reply
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:42, archived)
# So does Britney Spears
but you don't see her banging on about it.


unfortuantly
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:52, archived)
# You two
are real cunts aintcha..?
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:37, archived)
# shouldn't you be in an exam?
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:30, archived)
# they start tomorrow
i'm revising today. Only I'm not because of stupid spiders
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:32, archived)
# Capture a house sparrow and put it in there.
It'll eat it.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:34, archived)
# But then she'll need
to get a cat to catch the sparrow, then a dog...
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Ah yes.
It could be a tragic end, involving a horse.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:39, archived)
# People
could die
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:43, archived)
# then you'll need
to put a cat in there to swallow the bird (how absurd)
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:39, archived)
# feed it some flies
then it'll be your friend and do as you wish.
Failing that, you could just get on with revising and stop making excuses (says the world's most procrastinatiest procrastinator ever)
(I helped save b3ta! atomboy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:37, archived)
# Woo to You
Biggist Threadjack EVER
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:52, archived)
# That
is fantastic! Made me laugh muchos-ness!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Brilliant my friend
classy stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Ha ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:29, archived)
# Very woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:34, archived)
# Arse....
See above for why..

Dammit - The same song - in as many posts !

Woo though..
(I helped save b3ta! Darryn.R, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 11:34, archived)