I once blew up my neighbour's beloved punt.When i were a lad, i used to live in the cunnery in a house that had a huge garden with a river running through the bottom of it.
Me and the next door neighbour were friendly-ish (he was a couple of years older but quite thick) and we used to go boating on the river. He lovingly made his own punt in his dad's workshop. It took him a couple of months to make, and he was very proud of it.
This was around the time when i was getting into making home-made pipe bombs, using weedkiller, sulphur and charcoal. This fairly powerful gunpowder mixture was rammed into a closed copper pipe, and when lit it would explode with a great deal of force.
As long as it was ignited, it would keep burning underwater until the pressure got high enough that it would explode.
So i made some very large ones of these intending to do a bit of Dambusters-style damage to the riverbank.
I was having a ciggie, planning how to do it when down the river came the neighbour on his shiny new punt. In a flash of inspiration, i waited for him to get quite close, lit one and chucked it near his punt. I had intended that it would blow up near him and get him a bit wet, but it took longer than i though to get up to exploding pressure. It exploded directly under his boat, seperating the bottom plate of wood from the sides, and the punt quickly began to sink. His first expression was utter shock, but when he realised it was me, he jumped off the sinking punt and started wading towards me.
I have never run faster, and i am glad he stopped short of breaking our windows to get inside my house.
Years later, i still have to supress giggles.
I ask you, is there anything better than being a cunt?
(Me and the next door neighbour were friendly-ish (he was a couple of years older but quite thick) and we used to go boating on the river. He lovingly made his own punt in his dad's workshop. It took him a couple of months to make, and he was very proud of it.
This was around the time when i was getting into making home-made pipe bombs, using weedkiller, sulphur and charcoal. This fairly powerful gunpowder mixture was rammed into a closed copper pipe, and when lit it would explode with a great deal of force.
As long as it was ignited, it would keep burning underwater until the pressure got high enough that it would explode.
So i made some very large ones of these intending to do a bit of Dambusters-style damage to the riverbank.
I was having a ciggie, planning how to do it when down the river came the neighbour on his shiny new punt. In a flash of inspiration, i waited for him to get quite close, lit one and chucked it near his punt. I had intended that it would blow up near him and get him a bit wet, but it took longer than i though to get up to exploding pressure. It exploded directly under his boat, seperating the bottom plate of wood from the sides, and the punt quickly began to sink. His first expression was utter shock, but when he realised it was me, he jumped off the sinking punt and started wading towards me.
I have never run faster, and i am glad he stopped short of breaking our windows to get inside my house.
Years later, i still have to supress giggles.
I ask you, is there anything better than being a cunt?
100% Cock Raw like carrots.,
Wed 22 Oct 2003, 17:03,
archived)