When I was about 4 or 5My father kept asking me 'Where does Milk come from', to which I would reply 'Cows, Dad'. One day, he launched on me that milk, could in fact be grown on trees. I said 'Nooooo it doesn't, it comes from cows!'. This carried on for a few days.
One day, I awoke, sun was shining, birds were singing, and all was well with the world. I looked out of the window, and there was a magnificent sight! I ran downstairs, shouting 'The Tree has grown Milk!'. And there, in front of the window was a tree bearing milk. My Father, loveable as he is, had tied milk bottles to the tree.
Problem was, he led me to believe that this was the case for
Three.
Solid.
Years.
And he wonders why I'm a bit twisted sometimes.
(,
Wed 22 Oct 2003, 19:40,
archived)
One day, I awoke, sun was shining, birds were singing, and all was well with the world. I looked out of the window, and there was a magnificent sight! I ran downstairs, shouting 'The Tree has grown Milk!'. And there, in front of the window was a tree bearing milk. My Father, loveable as he is, had tied milk bottles to the tree.
Problem was, he led me to believe that this was the case for
Three.
Solid.
Years.
And he wonders why I'm a bit twisted sometimes.
Pranks that haunt you for the rest of your life.........This must go back to one October in the late 70's when I was roughly 10 yrs old. Me and a couple of mates thought it would be funny to remove a drain cover from the side of the road. I don't know why then, and I don't know why now. We stayed out most of the evening messing about as kids do. My parents had gone up to the local fair with my younger sisters.
I'm not sure of the time I got in, but I was quickly followed by my Mother who was fretting about my Dad. He'd managed to fall down an open drain in the dark on the way back from the fair, and had a suspected broken leg! (He went right down to the hip!)
Found out later after a trip to the hozzy that hadn't broke it, but he'd hyperextended his knee and spent a while off work.
I pretty much shit myself. I've still not told him that it was me who did it and I'm now 36!
It will haunt me for the rest of my life....