Jeremy Clarkson autobiography
From the Celebrity Autobiographies challenge. See all 520 entries (closed)
( , Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)
It's true what they say about blokes and big cars...
homepage.mac.com/fergus.stewart/PhotoAlbum6.html
homepage.mac.com/fergus.stewart/PhotoAlbum6.html
From the Celebrity Autobiographies challenge. See all 520 entries (closed)
( , Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)
you might want to explain this one
or get an alibi
pst...
homepage.mac.com/fergus.stewart/.Pictures/Clarkson%20book.jpg
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:15,
archived)
pst...
homepage.mac.com/fergus.stewart/.Pictures/Clarkson%20book.jpg
That
Is a girls car
I don't really drive a fiat 126. I was playing witht the large car/small penis joke, implying that i had a fucking huge penis ahahahahahahahalolololol1!
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:19,
archived)
I don't really drive a fiat 126. I was playing witht the large car/small penis joke, implying that i had a fucking huge penis ahahahahahahahalolololol1!
It really isn't a girls' car.
For my wife to drive it she has to have the seat fully forward and raised. The pedals are right a way out below the steering column, designed for man-length legs.
It is also a stylish but manly car, with a nice broomy, grrring engine.
I got the car/cock reference, but I just wanted to mention that I have a nice car.
Thank you.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:21,
archived)
It is also a stylish but manly car, with a nice broomy, grrring engine.
I got the car/cock reference, but I just wanted to mention that I have a nice car.
Thank you.
It can't be though.
There is no make-up mirror in the driver's sun visor flappy thing.
No lipstick holder.
No vase with plastic sunflowers in it.
Respect my manly car or I will create the most horrific image that can come from my headbrain and post it on the board this afternoon.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:25,
archived)
No lipstick holder.
No vase with plastic sunflowers in it.
Respect my manly car or I will create the most horrific image that can come from my headbrain and post it on the board this afternoon.
my micra has none of those things
and it is definately a lady car.
your wife is obviously a midget.
you drive a woman's car.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:28,
archived)
your wife is obviously a midget.
you drive a woman's car.
Maybe so.
But at least I can spell 'definitely'.
Anyway, you really shouldn't boast about owning a Micra. They are the shittest cars ever to be pooed out of the bottom of a worm-infested skankwhale. Just marginally worse than any of the Ford cars.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:32,
archived)
Anyway, you really shouldn't boast about owning a Micra. They are the shittest cars ever to be pooed out of the bottom of a worm-infested skankwhale. Just marginally worse than any of the Ford cars.
haha
I'll have to agree with you there
Although the new micra has a certain charm
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:36,
archived)
Although the new micra has a certain charm
my car is a nice colour
and gets me around
and guzzles a lot less petrol than any of your cars
and costs a lot less to insure i bet
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:39,
archived)
and guzzles a lot less petrol than any of your cars
and costs a lot less to insure i bet
i am 18
and it is my first car, i am allowed to spell 'definitely' wrong as much as i damn well like!
there's no need to get stroppy just cause you drive a woman's car!
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:37,
archived)
there's no need to get stroppy just cause you drive a woman's car!
Sorry.
It'll be the oestrogen tablets and 'that time of the month'.
Oh, I'm crying now. /fans eyes ineffectually with hands/
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:40,
archived)
Oh, I'm crying now. /fans eyes ineffectually with hands/
Convertible models of standard family vehicles
eg astras, escorts, mini's etc
are all woman cars. Fact
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:24,
archived)
are all woman cars. Fact
I drive a volvo 740 estate
But I need a car that big to fit my enormous manhood in.
And I still have to open the sun roof when engorged!
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:25,
archived)
And I still have to open the sun roof when engorged!
I'm implying
that I bummed him, but if you really can't keep up i'm just not going to bother any more :P
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:43,
archived)
This is true
the ladies flock from miles around to see me in my shoe. Once a week I select one lucky lady and she gets a ride to wherever she wants.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:25,
archived)
I'm dressing as a lady and coming to inverness
Is it like a raffle, or do you just choose who you want?
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:27,
archived)
tuck your little tadger between your legs
and flash your ginger "mimsy" at him, that should swing it.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:33,
archived)
i don't have a car
so i must have the biggest penis in all of chrisendom
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:21,
archived)
the (4) irony is
I was making a golf joke when i don't know anything about golf.
Or cars.
But a Golf is a type of car so my comment must have seemed very witty indeed.
Google tells me Obie Trice is a performer of American "rap" style music.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:29,
archived)
Or cars.
But a Golf is a type of car so my comment must have seemed very witty indeed.
Google tells me Obie Trice is a performer of American "rap" style music.
i know nothing about imperial measurements
but 326 yards seemed like a good distance for a gold swing
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:33,
archived)
'tis rather a biddymobile
it is also a tad pimped so my length rating must be PENALized for that.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:47,
archived)
Place a Title Here
This is a block of text that you can edit. Write a couple of sentences that describe the photos below.
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:16,
archived)
Untitled Document
insert witty remark about not changing the default page text here
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:18,
archived)
unchanged default texy
Many mongy apologies for such a spaztastic oversight!
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:25,
archived)
ah!
Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
/autocomplete
( ,
Tue 22 Aug 2006, 12:18,
archived)
/autocomplete