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(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:33, archived)
# When the internet was young-ish
(1997-8) I had access to it at university. Chatrooms were all the rage, and it was at this stage I became aware of the phenomenon of "trolling" (although I did not hear it called that). One of my classmates used to go into chatrooms for African-American types, say things like "what's up, homies" and get everyone else talking back to him in similar vernacular.

I went to a chatroom and started speaking to a fellow from Texas. He asked where I was from. I said I was from Orkney, that there was one computer on the island [sic] and that it was my turn to use it this week. He replied "One box on the island, huh? Bummer."

I lost interest after that, baiting ignorant people is just too easy.
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:38, archived)
# Americans. Fucking Oxygen Thieves.
Look what they are up to now...
Evidently not satisfied with taking a hatchet to Get Carter and The Long Good Friday, Hollywood has now decided Neil Jordan's 1986 gangster film Mona Lisa would benefit from a rehash starring Mickey Rourke.

According to Variety, Handmade Films is the guilty party producing the reinvention, which will see Rourke playing "an ex-con who takes a job as a chauffeur for a high-class escort".
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:43, archived)
# They should cast Sandra Bullock as the escort, and turn it into a rom-com

should fucking will
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:44, archived)
# some Bond girl apparently.
Eva Green. Means nothing to me.
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:47, archived)
# She's French
so her name should really be Eva Vert. She is rather nice though.
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:54, archived)
# I think I know the one.
but no amount of loveliness makes up for hollywood butchering classic British cinema.
Also Rourke? Whilst i admire his ability to get back into Hollywood after burning all his bridges I just can't imagine him in this role. Or any other for that matter. Sure he was great in the wrestler but full of steroids and arse fat in his face is perfect for one of those characters but no self-respecting gangster is going to run the streets looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein.
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 20:01, archived)
# I reckon Rourke will be fantastic
if he's still alive in 20 years, and age and disease have withered him to a scrawny little wastrel. That's when he'll win the Oscar, mark my words. His performance as a wizened former astronaut with face cancer trying to sue NASA before he croaks will cause even the hardest heart to break.
(, Fri 15 May 2009, 20:08, archived)