NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 113: "A HEADMASTERLY ROCKET UP THE ARSE"
This Week:
* VIDEO - Jim'll Fix-it for woo
* B3TA RADIO - Biggest lies
* RATHERGOOD - Fucking hell. More kittens
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 113 - 28 Nov 2003
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Kittens, Robots, Jim'll Fix It, Touchy Game
>> Jim'll Fix-it for woo <<
To UK readers of a certain age, hearing the
theme tune to the Jim'll Fix-it show will
simply make you grin. Fnord has taken the song
and added some of the best images that have
recently appeared on our site to make something
that... that just makes us go woo. (Requires
RealPlayer.)
http://www.fnord.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/JimllFixItFo...
>> Rathergood Kittens <<
Joel has recently been making a TV show for C4
called Rathergood Videos. To promote it he's
returned to the stuff that made him famous
in the first place: Singing Kittens. This one
features Laibach and the Marching Kittens of
Doom.
http://www.rathergood.com/laibach/
>> Robots on the Rampage <<
We've recently been rating Mystery Bob's work.
Stuff like the HG Wells song. His latest is
a series of cartoons about Robots. Our
favourite? This Destruct-o-bot with a sweetly
amusing pay off.
http://www.mysterybob.com/robots/rampage.htm
>> Touchy game <<
Monkeon makes the oddest games on the planet.
He's one of few people attempting to
bring genuine innovation to 5 minute flash
gaming. The latest is a guessing game where you
use to mouse to "feel" a blank bit of the
screen and try and work out which picture it
is. We found it extremely tricky.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/pockets/
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: B3TA RADIO
The biggest lie you ever told
On this week's B3ta radio we're talking about
the fibs you've spun to your gullible mates.
Our favourite comes from ScaryDuck who writes:
"We went a whole year at school telling the
supply teacher we had for R.E. that Andy
Harropp was in hospital in a coma and that
the new boy's name (in reality Mr Harropp
sitting there trying not to laugh) was Basil
Clithopps.
"For three entire terms Andy would hand in
work in the fake Basil's workbook, while she
would call the register and shake her head in
pity when she got to Andy's name.
"We would have gotten away with it too, if it
wasn't for the small matter of end-of-year
reports, where the whole ruse was rumbled,
and Andy got a Headmasterly rocket up the
arse."
Read all the stories. It'll take you a couple
of hours.
http://b3ta.com/board/2389325
Or learn more about B3ta Radio and how to
tune in:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Picasso drawing tool <<
Want to draw like Picasso but lack the
talent? Then this is right up your street.
http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html
>> Flava Flav alarm clock <<
Stuck what to buy the Nathan Barley in your
life for Christmas? Why not try a Flava Flva
alarm clock. (Note to team: Must start
marketing our Cher "If I Could Turn Back
Time" snooze clock.)
http://snurl.com/35tw
>> Playboy tribute <<
Playboy is celebrating 50 years selling
photos of naked ladies. Comedian Sarah
Silverman pays tribute with a harsh but
hilarious verbal roasting of Hugh Hefner.
http://snurl.com/36et
>> Buy Nothing Day <<
The Buy Nothing Day people have got in touch
to ask us to tell you not to buy any stuff
on the 29th of November. Something about
a protest against consumerism. Hopefully
we're still allowed to buy beer and fags
though.
http://www.buynothingday.co.uk
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Animals with Jobs Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted to see animals with jobs:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animaljobs/
We asked B3ta boarder 'icedragon' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
IceDragon writes -
#1 "C'mon Guv - Woo to this wonderfully shopped
image. This is so well done it's hard to tell
if anything has actually been added - anyone
care to phone animal rights? (ac-x)
http://b3ta.com/board/2374356
#2 "Da Pimp Chimp - The expressions on these
chimps are ace! Yet another classic image.
(sick_boy)
http://b3ta.com/board/2370944
#3 "Collie Job - Poor old Shep has no luck in
finding a suitable job in this animated tale."
(kitty cat)
http://b3ta.com/board/2384102
Special mention must go to Dr Frank for this
lovely window cleaning giraffe:
http://b3ta.com/board/2401380
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, the Challenge Dicator was back
and gave us the suggestion, "The Drugs DO work"
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* NEXT OFFICIAL B3TA PARTY - booked for the
13th of February 2004. Stick it in your
diaries. We'll be making more noise about
it nearer the event.
* VICTORIAN INTERNET HIT - our challenge of a
couple of weeks ago is still causing
amusement. Probably due it's net-related
subject matter it's been the most "blogged"
challenge we've ever held. If you didn't see
this stuff the first time round then you're
missing a treat:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/victorian/
* NICECUPOFTEA ON TELLY AGAIN - Stu is going
on Good Food Live on Tuesday to discuss
Christmas selection biscuit tins.
Set your videos.
* B3TA NOMINATED FOR AWARD - B3ta has been
nominated as an "Outstanding use of Broadband"
by the International Visual Communication
Association. We're not quite sure what this
means but they sent us a very nice letter
about it.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* CASH FOR KITTTENS - a stock photo website
which pays you for uploading cute photos
of cats.
* BABE-ALON 5 PORN SITE - we've been thinking
that pretty ladies wearing prosthetic masks
would probably be a bit of a hit.
* NEW TALENT - remember people. It's not about
your artistic ability. It's about whether
you can communicate an idea. Get involved.
The world is an exciting place.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel.
Top Tippery by Dutchbird
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the unpronouncable b4tas. (72559)
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TOP TIP:
Can't get a lid off a jar? Put your rubber
gloves on for extra grippage.
