NEWSLETTER: NOT A LEAP YEAR. IS IT A LEAP YEAR??
This Week:
* HUGE EYE - stares into your soul
* SQUIRREL - hijacks plane
* STEWART LEE - hates Twitter
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shitting a bed
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | together, possibly.
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| Er... Sorry."
B3ta email 621 - 28th Feb 2014
Read this issue sobbing and wanking:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue621
Friends : [email protected]
Twats : [email protected]
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: SPONSORED LINK
Jesus plasters - stupid Amazon review time
* "It cured my leprosy right up."
* "This could be the answer to the problem
of the NHS."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00BTGMS0...
>> Sponsor B3ta <<
Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> NYEherhRHRHRHRRRRRRRRRR <<
We have no idea what this is. But we liked it.
Well done, DaveExclamationMark.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1141242/
>> Richard Branson, don't be a Dick <<
"Richard Branson is a member of the Ocean
Elders conservation group while his company
Virgin sells package trips to Sea World,"
informs surreal animator extraordinaire
Smearballs. "Here's a video to point out the
hypocrisy & hopefully help out some whales
stuck in a tub."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Dont_Be_a_Dick
>> Trojan Horse - the first attempt <<
"Troy 1183 BC," intones Joel Veitch
portentously. "Mighty Odysseus tries out his
Trojan Horse plan for the first time."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1143671/
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: USVSTH3M
The other 'b3taish' project
* WHICH CITY - We ask a series of
carefully-chosen question, then work out
the ideal city for you to live in.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/which-city/
* REALISTIC GCHQ SIMULATOR - those spies probably
get bored watching internet bores all day.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/realistic-gchq-simulator...
* THE EPIC MANLIESS TEST - test your testosterone,
are you a man or a er.. not-man.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/epic-manliness-test/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
>> The Hilariously Awkward Onion Slideshow... <<
The Onion launches one of its occasional jabs
at Buzzfeed. Just keep clicking the right arrow.
http://goo.gl/4ugQNF
>> The war on Buzzfeed continues <<
A list of thing you MUST remember, to consider
yourself a true child of the 90s. Did YOU own
every "Voltidore" book?
http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/Listobem/listbe...
>> DLT, Ken Barlow and Kevin Webster celebrate good times <<
"Saw this animated Three advert thing and just
couldn't resist," confesses Leemondus. Yep,
this kind of online generator is ripe for
inappropriate LOLs.
http://www.singitkitty.co.uk/play/241Z5
>> Huge eye rendered in WebGL <<
This is terrifying. Like Skyping Sauron, with
adjustable sliders.
http://vill.ee/eye/
>> Your favourite celebrity is... problematic <<
Website lists all the dickheaded things that
celebrities say, so you can judge them and
maybe decide you don't want to marry Benedict
Cumberbatch after all.
http://yourfaveisproblematic.tumblr.com/
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
>> Benny Hill ravers <<
Looks old and yet, somehow, still the best thing
we've seen all week. Does what it says on the
tin, as we used to say back in the days when
tins were a thing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Benny_Hill_ravers
>> Terrible working conditions at BBC News <<
You will go to Hell for laughing at this. And
it will be out fault. Sorry.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_Ron_Burgandy
>> This is how all reporters should sign off <<
By going down in an imaginary lift.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/BBC_camera_lols
>> Least convincing British accent ever <<
Adam & Joe discuss an American voice coach
trying to teach actors how to do a "British
accent". No human has ever said the word
"coffee" like this.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1141049/
>> Stewart Lee's TV show is coming back <<
...And he hates Twitter.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Limmy_new_show
>> "Eye of the Tiger" on dot matrix printer <<
FYI this is the modern-day equivalent of a
bloke in a smock playing the saw. And it's
equally great.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1141013/
Bonus Benny Hill theme:
http://vimeo.com/57960146
>> Evolution <<
Lovely bit of stop-motion, with animals
cleverly made by combining graffiti with bits
of rubbish.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Evolution:7
>> Flying rat ambush <<
Adorable.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:2
>> Squirrel steals plane <<
Can't be fake - there's an onboard camera fer
gosh sakes! Action starts at 70 seconds.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Damn_squirrels
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Cakes in Technology
Challenge
Last week we wanted you to celebrate cakes.
And tech. Together in perfect harmony.
Your favourites included:
* BAKEWELL: Mr Kipling's almond fondant
classic undergoes transformation (84237)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11059337
* DISH: plate trio searches the skies
for alien lifesigns (moon monkey)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11058982
* COLOUR: hilarious cake/geek crossover
fruit dough expansion (Ninj)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11058742
All these images, and the highest as voted by
you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/technology-cakes/
>> New challenge: NSFW-SFW <<
This week's challenge is to take something
that's not suited for office viewing and
turn it into something absolutely safe
for your coworkers to glimpse at
(suggested by Rafi).
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/nsfw-sfw/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* A PET that you can keep in a small,
first-floor flat, but that has more personality
than a fish.
* 8 CARPARKS THAT LOOK LIKE OPRAH WINFREY - we
pitched this idea as a joke, then found it
impossible.
* A NEW KIND OF HAM. We've had the cooked kind
and we've had the cured kind. What more, from
the world of ham?
Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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TINA: [email protected]
SARAH: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Whizzer,
admiral crunch, Fadgebadger, Fluffster,
Leemondus, Queef In a Jar, HoratioFellatio,
RompaStompa, Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver,
artifus, Wankle-Rotary-Engine
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
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TOP TIP:
Save money on expensive toilet cleaner by
drinking more water.
(MrOli)
