NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 8: THE DEATH ISSUE
This Week:
- Top Ten Dead
- Hank the Dwarf Obituary
- Queen Mum Death Rumour
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B3ta Issue 8 - 07 Sept 2001 - THE DEATH ISSUE
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Send blank mail to [email protected]
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: B3TA IS NOT DEAD
Despite the lawyers complaints.
Last week we put out "fake their death", a webpage
where you could type in a name of a person and
make a BBC news page announcing their death.
Within 3 days we were closed down by lawyers.
Under legal advice, we are not at liberty to speak
about who asked us to close the page, but it's safe
to say ALL LAWYERS ARE BASTARDS.
Anyway, during the weekend the page was active,
4,500 "isdead" pages were made. From that activity,
here are the ten people the Internet community
most wishes was dead.
: TOP TEN DEAD
It's the peoples choice
@ 10
Alex Chiu
Internet celebrity, philosopher, and general nutter
Alex Chiu runs a very strange site: it promises
enteral enlightenment - but only if you place
his banners ads on your website. Some believe
that he's not so stupid, and is raking in the
clickthru cash.
Make up your own mind at http://www.alexchiu.com/
@ 9
Derek Jeter
New York Yankees player - Jeter's batting average
has recently dropped. This might explain your
hatred for him.
@ 8
Jay-Z
Ex-drug dealer turned rapper Jay-Z owns his own
clothing line, and makes shit loads of money out
of treating the music business as - well - a business.
You think he is ain't 4real. No wonder you killed
him.
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DEAD PEOPLE SERVER
Up to the minute information on who
is dead and who is not.
http://dpsinfo.com/dps.html
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@ 7
Richard D James AKA The Aphex Twin
Ambient musician, tank owner, and semi-recluse
Richard is an obscure choice for Internet death.
However, you are probably jealous of his foppish
work-shy attitude and his living in a ex-bank.
@ 6
Jason Kottke
Net designer, blogger, and net celebrity Jason
deserves to be killed: he's good looking,
a fine writer, and designed the smallest
screen font in the world. String him up.
http://www.kottke.org/
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PLAY THE ARE THEY DEAD OR NOT QUIZ
With a bias to obscure U.S. sitcom
actors.
http://www.deadquiz.com/
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@ 5
Carson Daly
MTV presenter Carson Daly has had sex with
Tara Reed, Christina Aguilera, and Carmen
Electra. No wonder you want to kill him.
We want to kill him too, and attempt to
shag his grieving girlfriends at the
funeral.
@ 4
Jackie Chan
47 year old Kung Fu master Jackie Chan
could beat the shit out of you. The
world would be a safer place if he was
dead.
(BTW: Despite Jackie having a girls name
he is known to Chinese audiences as
Sing Lung which translates as "To Become like
a Dragon", however his birth name
was Chan Kong Sang meaning "born in Hong
Kong.")
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QUESTIONS ON BRAIN DEATH
If my loved one is brain dead, what
does that mean?
http://www.pntb.org/faq-bdth.html
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@ 3
Micheal Jackson
Child-star turned child enthusiast has a
new single coming out. You hate him
none-the-less.
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ELVIS LIVES
Despite being dead for 24 years,
there is at least one sighting of the
dead rock & roller per day.
http://www.deadelvis.com/sighting/seedead.html
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@ 2
Jesus
Might seem an unlikely choice, but the Jesus you
were talking about is a web celebrity. You know,
the guy who did the "Bathe with Jesus" thing.
You want him dead. And rightly so.
http://www.jesus.com/
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HEADLESS CHICKEN LIVES FOR 18 MONTHS
"He seemed as happy as any other chicken."
http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/
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@ 1
Britney Spears
They says "you can never be too rich or too
slim" - and now "too dead". Bye-bye
Britney, the net loves you, the net hates you,
and is damn well obsessed with you.
Read about previously faked dead Britney story:
http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/blspears....
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: OBITUARY - HANK THE DWARF
"Too short to live, too young to die."
The 4-foot-1 Howard Stern sidekick, known for
being, drunk and angry, died Tuesday at the age of
39. The cause of death was not immediately disclosed.
In Tribute, Stern sang his own rendition of "Candle
in the Wind" during his radio show Wednesday.
Alcoholism & depression is common in dwarfs, as
they often suffer from low self worth.
(FYI: 9 out of 10 dwarfs who work as actors
mention "skin" - i.e.. pornography - on their
CV. Apparently work can dry up out of pantomime
season.)
Hanks legal record
He was a very naughty little man.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/dwarf/dwarf.shtml
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: IS THE QUEEN MUM DEAD?
Rumours fly via email
On Tuesday rumours reached B3ta HQ from 4 separate
sources that the Queen Mum is dead. Apparently
"she recently died, but the Palace is suppressing
the story." Hmm.
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: OTHER B3TA NEWS FROM FRIENDS
Swearing, Tai Chi, Watership Down
Joel Veitch - of Frightened Boy fame -
launches swearing keyboard:
http://www.gimpchimp.com/swf/turretaphone1.0a.swf
JADA designer David Stevenson makes Tai Chi
man dance:
http://www.btinternet.com/~david.st/chi/
CartelCommunique follow-up Pat & Peggy video
with a Watership Down inspired work:
http://www.cartelcommunique.co.uk/fivertobigwig.ht...
BTW: Interviews with B3ta people are coming soon.
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: HELP B3TA OUT - SEND US KITTENS
Next week we are running a B3TA cat special.
Please send us: cat facts, pictures, and
games at [email protected]
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Thanks this week: Drew - celebrity dwarf facts.
