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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 86: "I TATTOOED B3TA ON MY ARM"

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This Week:
* WEBCAM PHONEBOX - Call random people
* ANIM - Birmingham is not shit
* MENTALIST - B3ta Tattoos

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're shaving our
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      plums... together"

B3ta email 86 - 02 May 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue86/

       Subscribe:  [email protected]
         Unsub:  [email protected]
  
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: PHONEBOX WEBCAM
  Phone this number now

  Wow. This is a brilliant idea. Benjymous
  has stuck a webcam in his local phonebox
  and put the phone number on the web. You'll
  be able to see the person who picks up the
  phone on your screen!

  We know sending loads of newsletter readers
  over to have a look is clearly going to fuck
  it up but each man kills the thing he loves,
  some do it with a bitter look, we do it with
  the cloying embrace of a newsletter.
http://www.freshlegs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/phonebox...


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  DO YOU OWN A VENUE IN LONDON? We're looking
  for a new location to hold our parties and
  need a room that can hold about 200 people.
  We can't pay much but the bar will do really
  well. B3ta people drink. Oh how they drink.
  Send ideas to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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: BIRMINGHAM
  It's not shit

  "I was pissed off with Birmingham coming third
  in the City of Culture vote", writes Jon
  Bounds, "So I'm starting a campaign -
  Birmingham: You might think it's shit, but I
  like it."

  We approve. To help the campaign out we've
  made a Flash video celebrating the joy that
  is Birmingham.

  Go on - send it to a brum chum.
http://b3ta.com/birmingham/


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: "I TATTOOED B3TA ON MY ARM"
  Look! People like us!  

  When we started b3ta we just had no idea that
  people would tattoo our logo on their skin.

  We don't know what to say really. Er.. except
  "Blimey." Anyway, Zog is the chappy. He told
  us, "If b3ta becomes uncool then I'll cover
  it up with a cartoon."

  Ha ha. We're in talks to sell the site to
  Nestlé. The joke's on you.
http://www.zog.rmjohn.com/tattoo/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Graffiti, Cockroaches, Spectrums & Spaz quiz

  >> Online Graffiti Wall <<
  This is really cool. Draw a little doodle and
  see it get added to an online gallery. We've
  seen vaguely similar things before, but Futoria
  has put this together extremely well.
  There's some lovely pictures in the gallery 
  already. What can you do? (We did a pig.)
http://futoria.com/flawing


  >> Interactive Musical Cockroaches <<
  "A load of singing cockroaches have taken over
  my sink", writes Jennifer Tantleff, "so I
  thought I would put them to use on something.
  This is my first flash anim. Hope you like it."
  Yes. We do. Now do the washing up. Student. 
http://pages.emerson.edu/Students/Jennifer_Tantlef...


  >> Spectrum Top-Trumps <<
  "Fancy a game of Top Trumps?", writes Nick
  Humphries, "How about with Spectrum games?"
  Yep. We do. This might not be for everyone,
  but hey - we like seeing old computer game
  screen shots. 
http://www.ysrnry.co.uk/cgi-bin/toptrumps.pl 


  >> Hacker or Spacker <<
  Here's the quiz we didn't dare make, the quiz
  that would offend the disabled... and the
  people we fear most, the people that could
  bring b3ta to its knees: Hackers. This is
  Russian Roulette - Internet style. If you
  don't get a newsletter next week, then you
  know why. So if this is goodbye, then thank
  you for having us.
http://www.b3ta.com/hacker-or-spacker/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Chubby Jedi Video <<
  If you're a bit on the plump side and are going
  to video tape your Star Wars fighting skills
  on a school camera, remember to remove the
  cassette when you're done. Otherwise people
  will stick it on the internet and the whole
  world will laugh at your folly.
http://www.waxy.org/archive/2003/04/29/star_war.sh...


  >> The ABC of Lady Norks <<
  Ok. This has got breasts in it. It's kinda 
  sweet tho. Although we're not sure that
  Kelly Brook really has got a cup size of S.
http://www.geocities.co.jp/Milano-Cat/7098/abc.htm...


  >> Nap Strap <<
  We've all been there. You're on a long journey,
  you nod off, you wake up with drool on your
  shoulder and a crick in your neck. The solution?
  Tie your head to the seat. It's a good idea
  but using it would make you look like a gimp.
http://snurl.com/19pn


  >> Japanese Scat Dolls - Shit For You <<
  Oh god. Now we've seen it all. Sex dolls that
  poop. Can the last person out please turn
  off the internet? (Warning: Pop ups.)
http://gold-exp.hp.infoseek.co.jp/collecti.htm


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Nuns Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted pictures of nuns:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/nuns/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Tedious' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Tedious writes -

  #1 "Moonwalker - simply because it's funny
     (chaotic_illuminator)
http://b3ta.com/board/1107737

  #2 "New Cross - made me laugh out loud
     (dirk gently)
http://b3ta.com/board/1107009

  #3 "Roller Nun - excellent animated background
      and skating action" (pippy)
http://b3ta.com/board/1105029


  "I'd also like to award the 'Best Blurring'
  award to Tart Monkey's flying nun, and the
  'Unrecognised Genius' award to Mademoiselle
  Boo for managing to post an image sideways."
http://b3ta.com/board/1107887
http://b3ta.com/board/1107710


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, b3ta contributor Popt_Art gave us
  the suggestion, "Curry and Cheese". No, really
  she did. And we took it. Oh god why?
http://b3ta.com/challenge/curryandcheese/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * GASH ON CHANNEL 4 - eagle eyed readers might
    have noticed Chicago Dave and Joel Veitch's
    work on Armando Iannucci's new comedy show.
    Yay for them.


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * NEW EPISODES OF CRACKER - we've watched
    all the old ones. Can someone hit
    Robbie Coltrane and Jimmy McGovern with
    a big stick until they comply?

  * COOKING TIPS - do you know any good ones?
    Don't send us links, tell us your own
    kitchen secrets.
    
  * HOSTESS TROLLY HOTRODS - can you soup one
    up with a jet engine?

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  Subscribe:  [email protected]
  Unsubscribe:  [email protected]

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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Weebl, Kevin Carne, 
  captainhazzard & djdan.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the silent b4ta majority.
  (64964)

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  HANDY TIP: A way to keep spiders out of the
  house: Buy a load of lemons, cut them in half
  and leave in the places spiders frequent.
  Apparently they hate the lemony smell of
  lemons.

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