NEWSLETTER: "THIS WEBSITE HAS PIVOTED TO 2/3RDS BIN CONTENT"
This Week:
* BINS - the Seven Bins Sunak game
* CRISP SANDWICH DAY - the revenge of carbs
* NEW CHALLENGE - it's one word, can you guess?
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | by making NFTs worthless
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| every week... together"
B3ta email 879 - 22 Sep 2023
Read this issue to whoever is listening:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue879
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making their bank manager sad
* THE "SEVEN BINS SUNAK" GAME - bagpuss.org
writes, "Suffering from a small bout of man-flu,
I stupidly decided to challenge my withered
brain to create a game in a day. Surprisingly -
if you loosen the definition of the word 'game'
- I did it! Low quality, repetitive, and no
longevity - Rishi Sunak has a lot in common with
this rubbish game. Simply lob your recycling
into the correct bin before the pint-sized Prime
Minister closes the lid on you mid-throw."
https://seven-bins-sunak.bagpuss.org/
* CRISP SANDWICH DAY 2.0 - Matt Round tells us
that he's building up to the second annual Crisp
Sandwich Day, and we would particularly like
pubs and cafes to get in touch to fully support
people's rights to double-carb. Ok, that's not
how he put it, but we're on a diet and craving
carbs. Do print off the poster and stick it up
like your own personal "Lib Dems - winning in
this area" poster.
https://vole.wtf/crisp-sandwich-day/
* RANDOM KNIGHTS - dngdng writes, "A month or so
ago I sent you a medieval beast generator, and
this is basically the same, but with
increasingly absurd knights of the round table
instead (I'm nothing if not original)". Hmm what
would be next? Random old computer games about
sausages?
https://dngdng.itch.io/endless-knights
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Buy some lovely clothes ok?
Right you horrible lot, don't you know Hebtro
sponsors B3ta and Fesshole, and your side of the
bargain is that you should clad yourself from
head-to-toe in Hebtro clobber to show allegiance
to the finest content on the internet. All made
in the UK, to the highest standards, built to
last and ideal gifts for difficult men. Get
stuck in, you bunch of free-loading bastards.
https://hebtro.co/about/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up like pig jizz
Each week you sweat your lies into a big Google
bin and we fish out the few that aren't just
rambling on about which Tories you fancy and
post them on the absolute dog shit fresh social
media site X for them to get replies from crypto
bros and onlyfans girls. Which we then, if we
remember, block.
* CLASS WAR - "Had a summer job years ago
processing speeding fines at the police station:
One came through for a mate doing 95 mph on the
motorway. Shredded it. One was for local Tory
MP. Changed the £60 fine to £6000 and processed
it. No idea if they paid."
* GAS-SHITEING - "My wife stopped drinking two
years ago after a night out with friends. She
was sick all over the kitchen, cried and passed
out. I put her to bed. Afterwards, I did a poo
near the front door. I told her next day she had
done it. That's why she doesn't drink. Not
sorry."
* LUCKY FAIRY DAY - "Took a jacket out of the
wardrobe to wear for the first time in 6 months.
There was a £20 note and a Galaxy bar in the
pocket. This is the most joyous thing that has
happened to me in about 5 years."
At this stage we're so fed up with how shite
Elon's X is we recommend you blocking the
account and returning to posting by phoning
stuff in to Ceefax.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
However we do want you to come to the shows in
Cambridge, Nottingham and Leicester.
https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
And of course do please pre-order the book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0CFG74H...
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Check out these new AOL keywords
* STARING CONTEST - Always good to have new ways
to approach a work of art, and Pippin Barr
suggests you can engage with portraits by
entering into a staring contest with them. You
could probably make a proper internet staring
contest using eye detection, but this one just
uses clicks to keep your eyelids from drooping.
https://artsandculture.google.com/experiment/bQGm5...
* VIRTUAL TRAINSPOTTING - This person linked his
local train times API to available webcams, so
that his kid didn't have to wait so long
watching live YouTube feeds when virtual
trainspotting. A nice idea, though the trains
rarely seem to appear on schedule. Quite
relaxing looking out the virtual window at the
tiny stations, though.
https://train.api.connelly.casa
* PLANET DESTROYER - Monkeon writes, "An idle
clicker which successfully hooked onto my
reward system and kept me up till 3am. I'm
currently 9th on the high score table, even
though now the whole thing just stresses me out
and I just want it to be over. I hate it."
https://ulgrude.itch.io/planet-destroyer
* BLANK CANVAS ART STUNT - same old boring
story, art-nonce submits blank canvas and the
artwork is getting paid. But in an injustice of
the year, they were happy enough to exhibit the
blank canvas for a bit and then changed their
mind and demanded money back. A bit off, the
time to say no is on receipt of the art.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-66847139
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
The Horrors of Parliament
Really great challenge last week with where you
combined UK parliament stuff and horror movies.
Our faves include:
* Kubrick was warning you about the Tories -
thanks Captain Howdy
https://b3ta.com/board/11398912
* Kubrick was warning you about the Tories -
thanks Monkeon
https://b3ta.com/board/11399234
* Kubrick was warning you about the Tories -
thanks Captain Howdy (again)
https://b3ta.com/board/11398913
So what have we concluded, kids? Kubrick was
fucking ace wasn't he.
* See all the other images from the 'The Horrors
of Parliament' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/horrorsofparliament/popu...
>> This week: BINS! <<
It's a one-word-challenge this week: BINS!
http://b3ta.com/challenge/bins/popular/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Some ideas for you to ignore and not make
* COLLABO808 - We're imagining an online drum
machine with a daily challenge - "make beats
only using hi-hats, bass drum and echo" And then
each day all the better beats are exported out
as a daily MP3. A little zen exercise for
techno-twonks.
* EVERY PUNNING BUSINESS NAME IN BRITAIN -
another mass collaborative, and crucially photo
project. It also should include the West London
stage lights company, "Lights! Camera! Acton!"
* COFFEE SHOPS WITH CUSTOMER MICROWAVES - so you
can heat up your drink after you've been sitting
there for ages because you've been writing the
b3ta newsletter in Costa this week.
Yes, do email us, it's the lifeblood of this
newsletter for twenty-two years:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; Monkeon for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (Weeeeee - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: AH FUCK IT, BONUS OLD MAN MOANING FESSHOLE
"Sat my teenage son down to watch Spaced. Was
laughing like a drain when I saw he just didn't
get it. Then I realised it was the same when my
dad sat me down to watch Steptoe & Son. A
milieu, way of life, humour, references that
were just completely lost on him. Oh well." --
Show him Seinfeld instead.
