More a lie my brother and I told his kids at Christmas a few years ago
We'd gone up to the Lake District for a family Christmas holiday and the kids were naturally overexcited. To calm them down, we told them that Santa's little green elves were still watching them.

Roll forward to 8pm on Christmas Eve and we have 3 sobbing children who don't want to go to bed because they are "scared of the little green elves in the bedroom". FML.




Also my friend at work tells her kids that the red light movement sensor on their burglar alarm is a santa cam and that he is watching them when they move. Toddler Meatswipe is being told this genius whopper as soon as she's old enough.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 7 Sep 2017, 13:46, 1 reply)

My nephew is most displeased with the notion of Father Christmas
We explained that there was a fat man dressed in bright red clothes who would squeeze himself down the chimney and sneak into his bedroom to deliver presents while he's asleep. My nephew was understandably dismayed at the prospect of this unwarranted intrusion by some terrifyingly weird stranger, and he promptly burst into wailing tears.

He didn't want any presents, and he didn't want Christmas, and he didn't want any of it... he just wanted to be left alone! We had to explain immediately that it wasn't real at all, and that no tubby costumed contortionist or army of elves was coming to get him, and he was safe.

The more I think about it, the more I realise how wise my nephew really is.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 12 Sep 2017, 12:25, closed)