Nick Clegg
Because he's managed to silence all those smug, self-satisfied pricks who berated me for (begrudgingly, and for lack of a better alternative) voting Labour all those years.

"Mmm. Yah. Of course, the Lib Dems are the real party of the Left these days"

How's that working out for you?
(Monkey Tennis isn't Spartacus, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 12:02, 12 replies)

My fiancé, djtrialprice.
For picking me up on B3ta, for giving me the best year evah, for proposing to me in the middle of Kings Cross Station, and for being one step away from making an honest woman of me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 12:00, 10 replies)

Ed Miliband
Even in the face of slash-and-burn Tory cuts, he's made Labour look even more unelectable than ever.

That's some achievement!
(Mr T, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

The bloke that came up with the Xmas Charades tale for the QOTW recently...
...just coz it was the most recent one that had me in tears of laughter...
(NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNo, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Frisbee Adam
Because I can. Also because he's indestructible in normal everyday use.
( lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Fri 17 Dec 2010, 11:43, 4 replies)

James Naughtie
For showing us that it's o.k to call MP's cunts to their faces, rather than just behind their backs. Love the way his colleague backed him up by making the same "mistake", was it Andrew Marr?

radiofail.wordpress.com/tag/cunt/
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 11:01, 2 replies)

What!?
Having spent the last 3 days lying here on the kitchen floor in an ever expanding pool of my own waste, I'd like to nominate the inventor of Linoleum. It really is remarkably comfortable and warm all thing considered. And Angela Merkel, a fine heifer. I expect conditions to be right for another crack at Jerry in the new year.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 10:01, 2 replies)

Everyone on my death list
Each year I play celebrity deathlist, on 1st Jan I try to predict 10 celebs that will snuff it that year.

This year is the first time I got none at all.

SO, I nominate the 10 people below for managing to not die this year when I was confident their time was up;

Elizabeth Taylor - nasty health scare last year
Nelson Mandela - lost his granddaughter, thought it might push him over the edge
Ronnie Biggs - well the government said his time was up???
Margaret Thatcher - it's about time though right?
Nancy Reagan - gotta be missing her hubby by now.
Amy Winehouse - was a wildcard but I had my fingers crossed for a custodial sentence after the MK theatre assault and a subsequent prison overdose.
Hugh Heffner - Reckon he'll die on the job, lucky bastard.
Fidel Castro - Piss poor health, but would we even know if he died?
Zsa Zsa Gabor - Another coffin dodger with failing health and money troubles.
Gene Wilder - Seriously, who gets better from terminal cancer???
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 9:44, 13 replies)

BOOBS!
I Like BOOBS!

Big ones, little one, firm ones, soft ones, brown ones, pink ones, perky ones, droopy ones, young ones and slightly older ones.

AND, it is a vote for all the women in this misogynistic world.

VOTE FOR BOOBS.

I LIKE BOOBS!

( . )( . )
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 4:52, 3 replies)

Rob..
Period.

He makes my week with the newsletters.
( mikenco, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 4:43, 7 replies)

This is a hard one
Mutated Monty I'd say, for the quality. But then there are the regulars like happytoast, Wil, elvis the weathercock or cockweasil, fiend, these are just off the top of my head.
Are we looking for contributions via visual, audio, comments to our work or what?

I could name so many more. So so many.
( --- ---, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 3:32, Reply)

I'll vote for myself
Since no other bugger will.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 2:35, Reply)

We should ALL be Person of the Year because we are ALL world record holders.
You were, at one point, the youngest person in the world.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 2:26, 3 replies)

From a Chinese perspective
It's a tie between Liu Xiaobo and the Grass Mud Horse.
( Zuowan, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 2:12, Reply)

Kate "Lycra shorts" Middleton
I would...several times...as much as is physically possible at my age
(pineapple_juice, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 0:48, Reply)

Matt Smith
Sorry to be all nerdy, but I thought he did a really good job.
(suckfake Frisky biscuits, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 0:39, 9 replies)

Jan Moir / Richard Littlejohn...
...for constantly reminding us that, whilst we all may act the cnut at times, it takes years of tireless dedication to the art to be a complete, and utter, cnut!

Failing that: Cyriak - for being ace.
(minimalist ..., Fri 17 Dec 2010, 0:10, 1 reply)

Freebase
This suggestion sponsored by the Gay Shift.
( HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 23:47, Reply)

Cat Bin Lady
Because that cat was the Chilean Miners, really, when you think about it.
( laplandes is working on a pie that can cure all disease, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)

Mutated Monty for still making things for b3ta and for the tv

and for not fucking off and leaving us as soon as he found a bit of fame :)
( prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 22:37, 2 replies)

I nominate the city of Detroit
It is, after all, a national obsession!
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 21:42, 2 replies)

I don't know his name and at any other time he'd be a bastard
Picture the scene;

I'm happily wandering round East London. I've only lived here a few weeks so am just getting to know my way around so apologies if my geography is a little off.

Anyway while crossing the road by the entrance to Aldgate East Tube Station my attention is caught by the sound of screeching brakes and swearing. I take a quick look where this disagreement is taking place and see the following.

There is a cyclist shouting at the driver of a brand new Range Rover saying he should have looked where he was going and to be more careful as he nearly kncoked him off his bike and could have hurt him.

The drivers response was, shall we say, less than favourable. He stops the car directly in fron front of the cyclist. He then dives out of his car and begins hurling obscenities at the cyclist and seems to be having a particular problem with the colour of the cyclists skin.

Now we have all lost our temper when driving and no doubt we have all thrown a swearword, if only under our breath, at other road users. All well and good. I however have a massive problem with racists. If you don't like someone fine. Just come up with a decent reason.

Anyway, this bigoted member of the Hitler youth has failed to notice the smartly dressed man who has diverted himself from the crossing and has now got into the (open) drivers side of the Range Rover and promptly driven off in it.

Man turns round to see car gone and seems somewhat bemused for a split second. As he turns round in a state of shock the lights turn green and the cyclist pedals past flicking him the bird.

I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pass out.

Now while stealing cars is wrong. If the bloke hadn't been such an arse I would've felt a little bit sorry for him.


Happy Christmas.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 21:04, 31 replies)

Sir Peter Viggers....
....for proving that the absurdity of MP's expenses knows, no bounds.

The duck house (£1,400).

Narrowly beating Wacky Jacqui (who claimed for pornography) and Douglas Hogg (moat cleaning)
(jdharding, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 20:36, 1 reply)

OK Go
For this video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qybUFnY7Y8w

Absolute classic. :-)
(jdharding, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 20:33, Reply)

Cyriak
lots of people are saying Cyriak and I have no objections, but its going to be hard to get his nomination to the top of the page if everyone places a post instead placing a clicky vote.

Just sayin' is all.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 20:30, 2 replies)

Stuart Baggs "The Brand"
Surely he's just a walking target for B3tards?
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 20:29, 4 replies)

Jonesy aka freebase...
...The meme that just keeps on giving...
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 19:50, 6 replies)

Elliot Reuben
because, like, didn't he used to run ents at leeds uni and dj at some sort of indie night in the harvey milk bar at which I once managed to pull?
(MonkeySpunkMoped, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 19:14, Reply)

Terry Pratchett
Why? Well, yes he is a great, and prolific, writer of books. Yes, he has created a world that is intricate in its design, majestic in its scale and yet engaging in its style. Yes, he has introduced a whole gamut of readers, old and young alike, to rattling good yarns.

But this is not why I am nominating him.

Terry Pratchett, as many of you know, was diagnosed with a relatively rare form of Alzheimers Disease, particularly tragic as he himself, a sharp, acerbic intellect, knows PRECISELY what is happening to him.

Pratchett has campaigned tirelessly for Alzheimers Research. Whilst I appreciate that this is like David Carradine appealing for panic buttons in hotel wardrobes, he has donated a sizeable amount of his money both now and on his death to Alzheimers Research.

But I admire him for the dignity with which he approaches the future. Yes, he has every right to rage and cry against what is happening to him, but he has encouraged debate on the subject of the right of the individual to both live, and die, with dignity and in the manner of their choice.

"When the time comes I'll sit on my lawn, brandy in hand and Thomas Tallis on my iPod. And then I'll shake hands with Death"
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 18:58, 25 replies)

Baldmonkey.
Baldmonkey.

Baldmonkey, Baldmonkey, Baldmonkey.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 18:53, 4 replies)