I accidentally saw The Automatic. Twice.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:45, 3 replies)

Would be easier to simply list bands I'll never watch again
Society One, Suicide Silence, Trivium, House Of Pain, Sum 41, Black Tide, Guns N Roses, Underoath, and Linkin Park.

All utterly fucking dire.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:43, 5 replies)

I chaperoned my sister-in-law and her friend to the Ozfest in Milton Keynes.
1999, probably. Awful. Coal Chamber, Soul Fly - who are these bands, and why are they all so shit?
Spent most of the time on the outskirts of the arena, eating Pot Noodles, but went in to watch the Foo Fighters. Dreadful production, they'd obviously left the setup as for whichever dirge-metal band had preceded them, so giving a bass-heavy, muddy sound.
Ended up behind one of the stages when Therapy? were playing, who were awesome, which was some compensation. Then we left before Osbourne took the stage, as our charges weren't remotely interested in seeing some pensioner perform. Bollocks all round. Got mocked on the way home for not knowing who Ugly Kid Joe were.

Saw The Cure at Wembley, a few years later, where they only played material from their new album - boooooring.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:42, 2 replies)

This morning we were talking about gigs in the office and one of my colleagues said he'd recently been to see Cornershop
Apparently they started with Brimful of Asha and then everyone left. I asked him if they had any other good songs and he said that he didn't know, as he'd left along with everyone else.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:37, 4 replies)

I fell onto the stage at a Bo Ningen gig recently and need physio on my old man knee
but on the plus side I got a good look up the skirt of the tranny bass player.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:37, Reply)

In the 90's, I had a girlfriend whose cousin worked for a ticket agency.
He would often call at 5pm, saying he had some unsold tickets for a gig that night, and would we like them.

To be polite, we would usually say yes, regardless of who it was. So while we got some good ones, we also had to sit through some terrible shite.

- Bros, at Wembley. 15,000 screaming 12 year olds, plus me and the girlfriend.

- Barry fucking Manilow. He got the hump because they turned all the lights on at 10:30, and refused to play an encore. Can't say I was that disappointed.

- Belinda Carlyle. Not the worst gig, she's very lovely, but after she's done heaven is a place on earth, there's not a lot to keep you entertained.

Just noticed, these all begin with B.

I suppose of the several dozen gigs we went to for free, three duff ones isn't too bad.

Oh, saw Jamiroquoi in Rio in 2005. Good band, but was in a really small stuffy venue and we left half way through.
(username failed moderation, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:33, 2 replies)

Tool, about 10 years ago.
Not a single word to the audience, black silhouettes against a lolpsychadelic video screen while playing material so note-perfect that they might well have been using a backing track. Oh, and the twenty minute break where they left a guitar sounding one note.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:33, 2 replies)

Saw a band called 'Dumber Than The Average Bear'
The guitarist was a right smug bastard.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:29, 1 reply)

*some "seminal" gig*
*ironically petty reason to dislike it*
(McChinaman banned, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:24, Reply)

I got peer pressured into going to see Green Day in my teens.
It was everything you'd expect.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:23, 9 replies)

I saw Electric Head Funk once.
Terrible. Fucking awful. Worst night of my life.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:20, 3 replies)

Fucking hell, where to start?
Some of you may remember a song called Toca's miracle. It was released by a group called Fragma who (allegedly) ripped of two artists who were completely fucked over by the whole ordeal and left without royalties.

The first, was someone called DJ Vimto, who has gotten over it, plays a lot in bars and nightclubs, collects some royalties for original work and is a thoroughly nice chap.

The second was the vocalist, someone called Coco Starr. She was booked to play an outdoor concert in Mansfield, she had a thirty minute slot, no backing band and had evidently gone mental.

The set was broken down as follows: -

5 Minutes - say hello, tell everyone about how the music industry screwed you, tell everyone how you made your own outfit (It was pretty fucking obvious to everyone in attendance to be honest.) and introduce your first song. Toca's miracle.

4 minutes: Sing Toca's miracle.

3 minutes: Rant about how the music industry screwed you again, try and convince the audience you're not bitter. Introduce next song, which happens to sound like Toca's miracle, but with different words.

4 minutes: Sing a song which happens to sound like Toca's miracle, but with different words.

5 minutes: Rant about how you were screwed by the music industry, tell the audience how your partner is really supportive and had recently proposed to her, point out partner who stands their looking smug. Proceed to tell everyone that you're not bitter about being screwed by the music business, tell everyone that you'll write a book about it one day, ask anyone if they'd buy it, then be really enthusiastic when only one person responds. Introduce a song.

5 minutes: Sing song, after requesting it be restarted a minute in because she missed her cue.

3 minutes: Remind everyone that she made her own outfit. Enquire again if anyone would consider buying a book about how badly she was treated.

1 minute: Hurl abuse at the stage manager for telling her to wind it up because she was approaching the end of her thirty minute set, insist on singing another song.

4 minutes: Sing Toca's miracle again.

3 minutes: Tell people that despite being screwed by the music business, you're not bitter. Tell people that you will be signing pictures afterwards. Leave the stage.

She was pleasant enough to talk to, although she made it clear that she was screwed by the music business, although that only extends as far as not making as much money as others from the Fragma thing, and having trouble getting a further career going.

Hooray for mental people.
( Muns, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:19, 6 replies)

It was only a week or so back.
I got dragged along to an album launch by this awful bunch of Brummie pricks called The Yurtsmiths at some dump called 'Twang Club' in Coventry. Christ they were shit.

The lead 'singer' (if you could call it that - atonal groaning, really) was a right knob, handing round 'veggie samosas' before the show and lighting joss sticks etc. Fucking wanker. He even had the gall to trot out his two downsy kids (who were called something like Sunshine and Youssou or some bollocks).

Then there was the so-called music. It sounded like an elephant having an eppy fit in a music shop. Total gash - I'd rather listen to a mongol choir. To be honest, if me and the guys weren't spliffed out on some serious bifters of doobage, the whole night would have been one of the worst in my entire life.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:06, 12 replies)

maria raven
opening for meatloaf(yeah, i know, but it was a free ticket) about 4 years ago. the biggest pile of whiny, depressive, wrist-slitting dirge music it's ever been my misfortune to endure. at one point, i think my ears actually tried to grow new skin over the holes in order to shut out such maudlin caterwauling. if you've never heard her, count yourself lucky.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:03, Reply)

The Sex Pistols at the Hundred Club.
Rubbish - just noise. And you couldn't hear the words.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:00, 4 replies)

The Cure - Glastonbury 1995
Headlining on the last day, they'd obviously spent the weekend getting as fucked up as everyone else at the festival. I don't like their pop-goth bullshit anyway, but they were too monged to even play their instruments properly.
Twats. .
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:47, 6 replies)

Our First Gig
Wasn't great...

We were told to get off stage as the band were about to start.
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Tricky at T In The Park
Everyone was expecting slinky weed-smoking mellow splifftastic tunes. What they got was him rasping nonsensically over some guitarist playing never-ending moronic punky-metal riffs. Crushing disappointment.
(McChinaman banned, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:41, 1 reply)

I went to see Blink 182
at the Sheffield Arena last year and was really disappointed. Whoever had done their sound check wanted shooting as the sheer level of distortion coupled with the vocal levels being set way to low completely drowned out the words.
So i shagged the box office manager in revenge, pissed in a cup and threw it on the audience, tripped out on massive drugs and drove off in my honda accord.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:38, 3 replies)

Maybe, but his brother Rhodri is the one who ended up in jail.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:33, 1 reply)

UB40 in Abu Dhabi.
There was such a shortage of gigs to go to in the late 90's, we went. Dropped some pills, we were desperate for at least SOMEthing of a good time. It was, as you can probably guess, fucking terrible.
The singer came on and said "Alright, Dubai, how you feeling tonight!"
Twat.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Toots and Maytals at Brighton Concord.
The crowd were great - I saw three generations of a family all having a jig together, but the band were pony.

Sisters Of Mercy at The Forum - best gig I've never been to - got in, got to the bar at the back, got a drink, Mrs Vagabond squeezes between two massive goths, leaving me and her mate. We try to squeeze through - "I don't fucking think so" said one.

As far as I know, the Sisters Of Mercy live use very heavy basslines, and a lot of smoke.

Also this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw8sNoodIDk
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:23, 1 reply)

Spike Island
Oh no, wait, it was an "uplifting, feel good coming of age" event.

and not a piss poor performance by a band who could not give a shit by that point, crap sound and crap drugs sold by scallies who policed the footbridges onto the site.

you don't know man, you weren't there...
(LetsGetDownToIt, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:19, 4 replies)

once, many years ago
I was in the bath, busting for a piss with an erection
Long story short, I accidentally pissed in my own mouth
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:18, 1 reply)

You don't know
I was there
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Kraftwerk
Unplugged
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Siouxsie and the Banshees
To be honest, I didn't go to Reading Festival specifically to see Siouxsie, but there was a great sense of expectation because they hadn't played live together for years. The main arena was packed as they came on, and they went straight into their latest single which got a huge, huge cheer. Then came the bombshell:

"We're not going to treat you like kids and play the old stuff. This is from the new album..."

I've never seen 20,000 pairs of shoulders slump so quickly, nor the words "Bollocks to that" spoken by so many people at once.

(I'm an ageing New Rom and I've seen SatB since and they were ACE. We got them in a bad mood that day, because true to their word, we got a play-through of their new long-player, and off.)
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Hat trick!
Fuck I'm bored...
(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Sekonda!

(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Foist!

(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)