Hats
At Uni, we had a formal night that landed on the same night as my 21st. The Powers that be decided this was a Hat Formal - people had to go in amusing headwear. I got twatted on a bottle of Pernod, and had told to be told this story myself.

There was a guy at Uni I hated after he told my future missus that she should be seeing someone better than me. We had a real simmering hatred. Anyway, as I went into the meal, wearing a crappy old Leeds Utd bobble hat I had since the age of 7, he walked past and sneered "What are you wearing?". My brilliant, witty reply, apparently delivered in my near comatose state in Oscar Wilde/Stephen Fry fashion as if it was the most stunning retort imagined:

A FUCKING HAT, YOU FAT CUNT

That became my catchphrase until I graduated.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 14:36, Reply)