David and the insects.
Not entirely sure if this counts as being on-topic or not, but any excuse to tell one of my favourite stories from my childhood and all that.

~~~~A few wavy lines ~~~

It was about eight years ago now that I first met my cousin, who we shall refer to as David, for that was his name. My mum’s sister lives in Spain, thus we rarely get to see her, but we as a family needed a holiday and being a tad low on funds had to go and stay with her. I had been warned beforehand by my mother that David had severe learning and communication difficulties and that he might be difficult to understand at times – being a young lad myself I hadn’t had much experience with things like this. Needless to say, my 11 year old mind ran wild with images of a seven-limbed gargantuan, perhaps with an extra eye or head.

Upon our meeting I was pleasantly/disappointingly surprised. He only had four limbs, two eyes and one head. It also became apparent to me that David was a very smart guy, and was quite capable of stringing a sentence together. In fact the only noticeable thing regarding his disabilities was his inability to grasp correct grammar when either speaking or writing (irregular verbs especially were a problem and anything that had the audacity to be in the past-tense was awarded the suffix ‘ed’ for example ‘I was’ became ‘I wased’, ‘I had’ became ‘I haded’ etc. – you get the idea). Other than that though he appeared to be normal.

(For those qotw purists out there, this is the bit involving technology). I was getting along with my new-found cousin quite well, but things really moved along when he invited me to his bedroom (settle down at the back there!). Turns out this guy LOVED insects and all that goes with them – praying mantis bed sheets, stick insect curtains, stag beetle lampshade, every toy going that looked remotely bug-like. The crowning joy of this collection, however, was an enormous ant farm that took up almost an entire wall of his bedroom and, this being a time when ant farms were cool (especially to ten year old boys), what an ant farm it was – glass walls, blue neon lights for when it gets dark, several other gadgets and gizmos designed to make watching the little guys all the more enjoyable. It was an absolute masterpiece (quite technological – see, its slightly on topic) of retro equipment.

We went back the following year, all was well, Mum and Aunty were twittering away as Mums and Auntys tend to do. I overheard that in the winter David had had what was described as an ‘episode’ resulting in the destruction of his beloved farm, and that the ants had run riot in the house for a few days before they could get an exterminator in to deal with them. I was slightly gutted for the loss of that late 90’s must have piece of kit. My guttedness was premature, however, as dearest Aunt went on to explain that David had worked hard and built a new farm - a much smaller one - but a farm nonetheless. As is only natural I went to investigate, peering into his room I saw him pining over a tiny little Perspex box containing about 17 ants, with a blue torch underneath to replicate that neon effect. I could see that he was over the moon with his creation, so I thought I’d play along for a bit. I’ll never forget his response when I asked what it was – he smiled warmly and said "It’s my re-doned ant technology".

Do you know what? I apologise for neither length nor lack of funnies. *Re-lurks*
(2_Killer_Mockingbirds Listened to all the same songs on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 21:39, 4 replies)

I skipped past this one...
but glad I went back and actually read it. *clicks*
(Dante licked your nipple on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:05, closed)

Well done!
I never saw that one coming! /slaps forehead - and clicky! :D
(bottle_cap, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:11, closed)

Don't appologise!
Did you see my lame reply to the QOTW? Your story is much, much better!! I used to have an ant farm....and then they broke out. And my mum had a fit.....with a big can of ant spray...and I had to throw out the empty farm. :(
(ButacuP As yoooo wish!!, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 22:26, closed)

Even tho I have read all of this...
... and know that it is all made up, I still feel sorry for David, losing his beloved ant farm like that.

And then being really pleased about his tiny new one.

Makes my heart sink.

[clickety click, tho, for stirring my emotions]
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:10, closed)