My relatives are all cranberries
My grandfather seriously beat both my mother and aunt (which contributed to her going a bit odd). Nobody likes him because he's a stuffy, boring old man, and he was a git to his kids.

My dad's brother married a posh girl who proceeded to have 2 kids with him (one of whom has learning difficulties) then fuck off to the middle of Europe. In the middle of moving house with my uncle. So he's forced to look after 2 kids (inc. 1 spack), get divorced, and move house, all at the same time. Consequently, he had a heart attack (right in front of the kids!) a few years later, but he's alright now. A truly decent bloke, unlike my twunt of an estranged aunt.

Similarily, my dad's other brother has been filing for divorce from his wife for 8 years, but she's been refusing to grant it because that way she gets a moleste amount of money from him each month. No-one has spoken to her for years.

My dad is also becoming a pariah, after divorcing my mother for some fat bird, fiddling the law so he pays only #70 a month to his 2 sons, and being a general tightwad. Example: Despite raking in moleste amounts of money, instead of buying us suits, he attempted to make my brother and I wear our school uniforms to his wedding, with different ties. Naturally my mum bought us suits, and everything went well. Also, he gave me a can of Carlsberg for my birthday, in the box to a pair of DC skate shoes to get my hopes us. Nobhead. Oh yeah, and his new wife (who is what Vicky Pollard will become in 25 years) is making him see his real kids less and less, instead making him spend quality time with his "new family" (read: look after them while she swans about doing nothing much in particular).

Hmmm...
(youthink, Sat 15 Jan 2005, 0:35, Reply)