Posting this to try and get a second page up.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 14:19, 11 replies)

Golddust is the black sheep of the B3ta family, refusing to enter into the spirit of
Accord and bum holes. I am a conformist.

slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/2007/05/17/goldust.JPG
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 13:29, 6 replies)

QOTW
Question of the Week suggestions

Each week we ask a question. The idea is to generate material that's:

* interesting to read, i.e. we won't get bored of reading the answers after about 10 of them
* not been asked on this site before
* fun to answer


So just reusing an old one and getting dull puns on the first page isn't really the aim then?

Seems like the B3ta team are the black sheep here...
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 10:42, 40 replies)

I was once accosted by an inquisitive soul,
who requested an itemized inventory of certain textile fibres that I had in stock. I complied in full, including details of standing orders for local dignitaries.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Surprise Uncle
A few years back my Dad found an old family photo of my Mum with her two sisters and a young lad he didn't recognise, upon further questioning it transpired she had an older brother she had kept secret for most of her life, apparently he'd burgled a load of houses and ran away when she was a teenager and had never been spoken of since. The only contact he has made during this time was some flowers that turned up at my Gran's flat during her wake.
(kendohmassif Fritzl Burger Monkey Chode, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 9:03, Reply)

I once went out with a girl with really big hands.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 8:59, 6 replies)

Got wool?

(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 8:37, Reply)

I shoved a farm set up my arse, the set contained some black sheep but the most difficult item
was the 1:8 scale hay baler.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 7:00, 2 replies)

This question is obviously a fucking dud.
This week will now be about the biggest thing you've ever shoved up your arse.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 21 Feb 2014, 0:35, 4 replies)

The War Doctor
or something
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 19:27, 6 replies)

we don't really have any, we're all far too dull and get on too well
but I will say that my friend got a bit drunk at my brother's wedding and danced a bit too close to my 60 year old uncle. she came over to find me at the bar, looking a bit distraught.

poor sod has been known to me and my brothers as "uncle boner" ever since.

(she was 33, before anyone yells NONCE.)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 16:24, 18 replies)

yeah hahahahahaha

(Sebastian Dried-on excreta bull goose loony, silverback shitposting alpha, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 16:15, 3 replies)

Saw an entire pen of black sheep once.
Apparently they used to live in the neighbouring pen with their white brethren, until a wolf got in and they had to clear the fence between pens for their freedom. The blacks ones made it but the white ones couldn't jump.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 16:07, 1 reply)

My cousin is on almost-nodding terms with a few not-quite-famous Camden wannabe musicians.
From his swagger and stories you'd think he was Mick Jagger.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 16:03, 2 replies)

A pun in the first entry?
Well, this is not looking good.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 15:50, 4 replies)

My parents and all my siblings favour drinking beer from a brewery in Masham, Yorkshire.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 15:22, 28 replies)

I used to work with a non-racist Australian.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 15:14, 7 replies)

I once had a threesome that involved a sheep.
One of them was black.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 15:09, 1 reply)

I am the black sheep. I do not believe in baby jasus and the god.
All them crimes I dun and the bumming men IZZ not a problem.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 15:04, 5 replies)

My dad made me wear itchy trousers

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 14:42, 17 replies)

There's a bit of a convoluted story here
about how people refer to me by the initial of my username, and a family of otters named Heep. And how I mislaid them.
( broadsword w⚓, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 14:34, 2 replies)

It's me.
My mother and father are both very successful academics, and my sisters have borne a host of sons and a daughter each.

I'm the youngest, the only son, and pissed an expensive education right up against the wall, got expelled, dabbled in drugs, and don't have and don't want kids (neither does Mrs V).

A couple of years ago, I found and met up with my half-brother, who is younger than me, that my father sired with my insane step-mother.

Turns out my half-brother is an all-round winner - he's a good-looking, popular, fun guy, a successful academic, and is already in his first editing job.

So I'm expecting my inheritance to consist of a note saying something along the lines of "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 14:31, 17 replies)

NO SHED CHAT!
Incest.
Something something Star Wars
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 14:24, 1 reply)

Manchester in the 70's
We had to suffer all them power cuts and stuff, making winter evenings really dark. We had to make our own entertainment by either candle or torch light. My father was well connected in the newspaper business around that time, and had met with Leslie Scott, of Oxford Games Ltd, who was trying to promote her, as yet, un-named parlour games. It involved building a tower of strips of wood, and pulling them out in rote until a player toppled the tower. She gave him a set and it became a real hit in our house.

I was ace at it. My keen eye for balance and my steady hand meant I could win 99% of every game.

Dad also took it to work, and used to set it up in Sports Editorial. The old hacks loved it, and eventually they got the joiners to make them their own set. Dad told me that couple of professional footballers from two of the local teams were coming into the office, and they were going to have a play off at this game for a photo-shoot. My dad hated the Red team, and he was Blue to the core.

He arranged it so that I would be in the office on the day, and using a set of pre-arranged coded instructions, the guy in the Blue Tie would pull the right piece of wood, and use my knowledge to beat the guy in the Red Tie.

I didn't know what Vegas was, and Deer Hunter hadn't even been invented, but I assumed it was the closest in high tension competition that anyone could reach. The hacks stood around, smoking fags, mugs of tea sloshing about, and the two footballers eyed each other's move across the editorial office desks. The tower was errected, and the match to end all matches began. Team pride was at stake.

Everything went to plan. Nobody took notice of the kid in the office, as I gave the Blue Tie subtle but essential clues as to which brick he should pull. Eventually the Red Tie toppled the tower, photos were taken, scotch was drank (not by me) and everyone in the office did some back slapping.

And that's how I became the Block Cheat of the Franny Lee.

Height: 11 column inches (400 words).
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:54, 1 reply)

It wasn't a sheep it was a cat
Nice cat though, a+++ would have one again.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:52, Reply)

My sister and I think that our dad is a right cunt.
Star wars.
( Muns, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:41, 1 reply)

In the 60's, the mad aunt in our family kept a baby kangaroo as a pet in her home for a short period.
Pissed all up the walls apparently.
( Pig Bodine., Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:27, 2 replies)

bit racist

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:24, 1 reply)

My FIRST cousin did a charity parachute jump over India last year and I said I'd join him as it was to raise money for food parcels for starving Ethiopians.
Unfortunately we collided in mid air, my chute unfurled a bit too late and I drifted off course. Thankfully I got a soft landing on a pile of resin in the local insect farm. I was so thankful that I bought the whole lot of this stuff that had saved my neck. And that was my famine leap lacs heap.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 13:22, Reply)