The Bible - but not what you think
I went to a very strict catholic middle school. Out teacher was a nun and mass was said once a week. We learnt valuable life skills like the withdrawal method and that evolution was completely wrong. Sex was off the agenda from the very start. This was all fine for the majority of pupils who had religious parents and feared God, but, I was there for a completely different reason. The school was directly behind my house. It took less than a minute to go from front door to playground.

One week we were told to write about our favorite passage from the bible. This caused a problem for me as
A: I had never read the bible
B: I didn’t own a bible
C: I certainly was not going to waste any time bothering to read enough that I could have a favorite passage.

That day I went to the library and at the very back, to the left of the “children’s illustrated story of mosses” was a row of large leather bound Bibles. I grabbed one, got my ticket stamped, chucked it in my rucksack and raced outside to play football.

As with all homework, I completely forgot about the task until the night before it was due. I remember that night as if it was yesterday. My parents had gone out that and left me alone (my Nan lived next door and would keep an eye on me). I took my bag up to my room and took my work book and bible out. I decided that I would flick though and whatever page I stopped on I would write about.

As I pulled back the hardback cover to start my holy hour, something fell from the Bible. It was a glossy thin book. It was “Posh Norks”.

It was a type of illustrated sex manual with pictures, stories and advice. I sat stunned and confused – I was always told by the Nuns and Priest that the Bible will bring every man happiness, but, I never expected it to deliver this!!! I sat in silence and turned over the first page. I was greeted by a blond girl, wearing a crown, and sitting naked with a leg behind her head. It was my first ever sight of the mysterious “Vag”.

That night I wanked my cock red raw. Every five minutes I was at it. The turn of every page required the spilling of more seed (Oh I do remember something fro the Bible). I only stopped when I practically collapsed from a mixture of tennis elbow and penis strain. The homework was late…I got in trouble but I didn’t care. That weekend I was not going out. That weekend I learnt about what Mandy liked to do in the bath, what Tara’s favorite position was and how many fingers Kara could have inserted up her starfish.

Since then I have read books that have changed my views, opinions and political views. I have a love affair with books on war – they show the greatest humanity in people and the most depraved acts almost side-by-side.

Sadly the one book that I read more times than any over, the one that kept me locked away in my room and the one that had a huge impact on my life was that small porno/sex manual called “Posh Norks”. In a strange way the erotic fiction and facts taught me more about sex than the 6 years of catholic education would ever do.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Fri 16 May 2008, 10:22, 2 replies)

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*click*
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:18, closed)

hallelujah!
Praise the Lord!

*click*
( w3rthers because you're someone very special too, Fri 16 May 2008, 11:50, closed)