nothing comperes to you
several years ago, my best mate was a compere for a stripper. he would get up on stage, warm up the crowd and call the birthday boy up on stage to be waggled at by said stripper. at that time, the irritating catchphrase was "WASSUP?", from that stupid fucking budweiser ad.
one particular night, i'd gone to work with him, as we were heading off to town straight after. waiting outside the last venue of the evening was the mother of the 18-year-old birthday boy who was set to receive the strippers' attentions. she pulled my mate aside for a quick word.
"my son really loves that budweiser advert, can you go in and shout "WASSUP?" over the mic? he'd love that."
"ok," my mate says, "what is it again?"
"wassup", replies the mother.
waiting at the edge of the stage for his cue, my mate repeatedly asks both me and the stripper "what is it?"
"wassup!" we both reply, getting a bit fed up by now.
of course, the inevitable happens. my mate receives his cue, walks out onto the stage, grabs the mic and shouts "WHAT IS IT?"
apparently, it's hard to take your clothes off when you can't stop laughing.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 14:51, 10 replies)

Excellent
Office guffaw of the afternoon, thanks.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:06, closed)

you're welcome :)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:11, closed)

This gets a click

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:21, closed)

ta!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:48, closed)

I recently put my Arnold J Rimmer photo in my "A Team" DVD box
Boy did I have smegg on my Face.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:38, closed)

have you been taking corbett pills?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:40, closed)

Red Bull
I get like this when I've drunk it sorry, I'm like a fecking Xmas Cracker joke factory when I'm on the stuff.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:42, closed)

ah, that explains it
it has pretty much the same effect on me, so i avoid it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:48, closed)

In the office
our boss decided to bring in a spare 24 cans of the stuff, been a productive week :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 15:49, closed)

i'd rather have a vodka right now
my mother's dancing around the kitchen singing When You Wish Upon A Star.
i love her, but the woman's fucking mental.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Mar 2013, 16:06, closed)