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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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This is a true story*
Against the better judgement of all his friends in the pub, a chap I know decided to drive home pissed one night.

On his way he had to go round a fairly large roundabout, but was so drunk that he missed his exit. He drove round again, but again he missed his exit like the drunken fool he was.

After missing the exit for the fifth time or so he said to himself, "Sod this!", and slammed the car into reverse. Of course, he didn't check his mirror first and went crashing into a car behind him.

Of course, a milisecond later the police decided to drive by. They stopped, got out and approached the car behind. Of course my friend was in a huge panic, stuffing polos into his mouth and trying to act as sober as possible.

After a minute or two, one of the officers wandered over and he rolled down the window. "Sorry about his sir, but can we contact you at home later. We'll have to take this guy into custody - he is completely pissed and claims you reversed into him."

*Honestly, it really happened to somebody I know, and not just a funny story I was told once.


(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 10:00, closed)

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