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This is a question Breakin' The Law

'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'

(, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Ooo-ooo-ooo police helicopters!
For some reason I'd almost forgotten about this, possibly due to the fact we were severly pissed at the time, and its best to put worrying things from your mind.

In the summer of 2001 we all went off down to the woods (Hillingdon borough) it was an enjoyable day we'd taken a huge basket of food with us, beer, vodka, radio, and spent the whole day just chilling out on one of the commons just soaking up the rays, when just as we are packing up to leave a group of lads leg it across the common each carring what looked like high powered rifles. And then they were gone. One of us made the glib comment of "where are the police when you want them". Well as we went in to the trees a police helecopter appeared overhead and quite obviously had mistaken a group of lads carring a large hamper and a radio, for an armed gang through their IR camera. So we legged it, split up and hid behind trees, then legged it some more then hid under log bridges, then legged it some more... all the time the rotor blades where buzzing about like a big angry bee. The best bit was when we came across a huge shipping container that had been dropped in the woods and we spent 20 mins running round the opposite side to the helecopter so all they could have seen was an arm or leg disapearing around the corner. then we got bored and out of puff, so we decided to finish off the picnic in the middle of the path. The chopper finally twigged that we were pulling their tonka and droned off to find new prey. However that wasnt the end of it, for some reason coppers dont like to made fools of. We were almost at the bus stop to go home and it was the last oppertunity for a waz before the long bus ride home, so everyone gave all the gear to one of our mate who went to wait for the bus while we helped nature. Unfortunately for him they were lying in wait and collared him as soom as they saw the ridiculously big hamper. We however were not fools and are rarely loyal to one another, and bravely legged it back in to the woods. He was held for several hours, lectured on the evils of wasting police time, threatened to be fined for the the aircraft fuel they wasted following a group of picnickers (some stupid amount of thousand pounds) and finally released when they couldnt get him on anything, other than being a pissed idiot. This wasn't helped by another acomplice phoning the police station pretending to be from the sun news paper and asking if they'd caught the 'xxxxx woods 7'. however that must have told the police that there were 7 of ús, and he took severe heat for next to a year to fess up. Luckly he's more loyal than we were to him. I still owe him a beer for that. Although, thats what probably started the whole thing.

Wow thats an essay.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 14:21, Reply)

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