How to be smooth and urbane in front of a lady with incredibly nice tits
Went to see Silverchair down at Brixton Academy with my mate Eric a couple of years back. We get in, sink some beers, drink some more beers, drink a few more after that – you know the drill.

Then we go and find a nice spot to listen to the band. I’m all up for going down to the front, throwing some shapes, feeling some arses (the law of averages says a few of these arses would belong to a female of some description, but - thinking about it - when I’m drunk I’m not really that fussy), but Eric’s a bit of a music buff. He likes to hear the band properly. So we end up standing next to the little pit area with all the computers and the geezer with the cans on his head, twiddling all the little buttons. Apparently, according to Eric, this is the best place to stand if you want the perfect stereo blah-blah-blah-bollocks-etc-etc-etc.

I was interested in something else. I was interested in the incredibly beautiful lady stood next to the little bank of monitors and knobs – it was the Silverchair lead singer’s Mrs. It was that Natalie Im-something-or-other.

I turn to my mate Eric, suddenly excited. I smack him on the arm, point at this vision of Antipodean loveliness and shout: “Look its Natalie Imru-, Natalie Imbrug-, Natalie Imbrururu-, IT’S THAT BIRD OUT OF NEIGHBOURS WITH THE PERFECT TITS !!!”

I felt a tap on my arm: “I’m stood right next to you,” said the bird out of Neighbours with the perfect tits.

Eric and I gave out a little yelp and ran off, what with us being manly, butch, men type men...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 14:39, 3 replies)

Unbelievable
...how she could resist such smooth moves.

You're right though. Top tits.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 15:01, closed)

She'd be 'torn'
by the time I'd finished with her.

_{...too graphic?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:53, closed)

Excellent
so funny i think i might have peed myself hahahaha
(Keith123, Thu 8 Oct 2009, 16:24, closed)