and another pea
Fri 25 Nov 2005,

Floodlit Shit

Before anyone complains it was mrs spimf who suggested i post this

A few years back when mrs spimf and i were courting, as old people like to call it, we had a nice wee drive up the coast from Dundee where i was at art school - marvellous course - utter arsehole of a town, i wont bother apologising to readers from Dundee because there is no such thing.

Anyway, we ended up at broughty ferry where we had a lovely day and decided to park on the seafront and watch the sunset. We found a gravel car park that basically meandered onto the sandy shore with no discernable boundary NB this is not a tide / car sinking tale.

I had a wee joint and got into that warm cosy, cant be arsed mode just as mrs spimf decided to wreak the moment with her now familiar plaintiff mumble - 'I need to go for a wee'.

I had a quick glance around and saw there were 5 or 6 cars dotted around the car park behind us probably filled with likeminded couples, by now it was also proper dark so I suggested to mrs spimf she go 'al fresco'. mrs spimf reluctantly whispered that it was 'not just a wee she needed'. I saw no real issue with this and said so - after she calmed down and smoothed her feathers she eventually agreed, but only on the basis i watch out for her - in case 'something happened' so we agreed she would go in front of the car in the dark and i would watch out for her 'safety' but not 'look' at her. i still dont understand that.

So there she is squatting down in front of the car carefully out of view of the other people parked further back.

It took a few seconds for me to rouse from my cannabis-induced stupor and realise the potential of the situation. I didnt drive at that time, it was mrs spimf's car. but I quickly jumped into the drivers seat reversed back a few yards, while turning left, then flooded the crouching, shouting and gesticulating mrs spimf with the full beam for all to see.

She wasn’t happy.
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 17:56, 1 reply)

You sir
are a cunt.

Click.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 4:20, closed)