As I was brought up a Jehovahs witness, my Christmas anecdotes are :-
1. Spam and cream crackers for Christmas dinner.
2. No presents.
3. Listening to all the kids back at school talking about and showing all the stuff they got.
4. Sitting on my own in the library while the nativity play was on.
5. Dealing with the smell of religious fervour (similar to a cattle yard)
6. Having my nan read me the bible and then asking questions.
7. No Christmas telly.

THANKS GOD YOU FUCKING CUNT.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 14:58, 19 replies)

We have a winner!

( Pig Bodine., Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:02, closed)

winner whiner
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Fri 20 Dec 2013, 19:38, closed)

did you not try hiding behind the sofa and pretending to be out?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:08, closed)

best reply ever

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:13, closed)

Congratulations on avoiding the crass commercialism that passes for Christmas.
Did your parents never learn to cook?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:12, closed)

8. dying of septicemia on boxing day

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:31, closed)

Wait. That wasn't you. That was a JW girl I knew at school.
Top chrimbo lulz for the mental religious extremists.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:33, closed)

And I bet the parents didn't get jailed or owt.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:51, closed)

poor old paul middleton
and his skin disease and his mental parents. HAPPY FUCKMAS, DUDE XX
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:38, closed)

were the Jehovahs witness's tight bastards as well as religious zelots?
Spam and Crackers for any dinner is a bit grim, you could of had a nice roast to celebrate not having to spunk £100's of pounds on presents no one wants and to kids who think that a fat bastard with a drink problem has given them a new 3DS XL not you and your hard earned cash.

It's like a vegetarian saying as I don't eat meat so I'll suck on this car tyre instead

Edit..just noticed your sig that was my sig for ages till someone called me a dyslexic twat
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:19, closed)

Some girls like the taste of rubber.

( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:20, closed)

Is that what your Mum told you?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:27, closed)

she just likes cock
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:29, closed)

I wish I'd known that before I covered mine in strawberry jam.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 17:43, closed)

The rubbers were because she got fed up of having to scrape all the jam out of herself afterwards.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 19:49, closed)

Oh man.
Have I been at the wrong end, again?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 20:52, closed)

I am failing to see how you can blame god for your parent's religions poor interpretation of
biblical text.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 20:56, closed)

God is to blame for everything, you horrible heretic.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 21 Dec 2013, 8:44, closed)

Old Joke
Anyone out there remember The Lada, the car made in Russia?
Q:What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Lada?
A: You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.
(Mackeson_drinker, Sat 28 Dec 2013, 10:05, closed)