The Yorkshire/Italian Squirrel Exterminators
As I have mentioned a number of times before I work for a company who has an office in a refurbed manor house and near a nice secluded bit of woodland. I have also mentioned that the woods have a number of squirrels in them (See my last post here where one tricked me into falling into the mud).

Anywhoo enough backstory. I returned from my holidays to find the place in a strange mood.the Italian boss of mine was looking rather jumpy and would keep checking the windows while the other manager was looking more cheerful than usual.

I made a mental note to find out what I had missed and settled down for a few minutes work and maybe the occasional lurk on B3ta when…..WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL off went the fire alarm. After peeling myself off the roof I realized that there was something weird as it was the wrong day for the fire alarm test. Before I could do anything else the Italian boss came through whooping with a rifle case under his hand and went off to look for one of the office staff that was next on his rota. I made a mental note to see which would be the best route to contact the police to warn them that a gun toting Italian was shooting his way through lazy staff members and could they send someone before he checked my internet history.

Italian boss seemed to have sensed that there was something wrong with me and got one of my workmates to fill me in on the situation. The squirrels in the local area must have become bored with the wood and decided to spend the first few days of the week sat on the window of Italian Bosses office staring at him. Nothing else just sat there still and staring on the windowsill. Italian Boss is quick to react and after the failure of Plan A (Shout obscenities in both English and Italian at tree rat until you are out of breath) he decided to take a more drastic approach. One squirrel trap, a jar of peanut butter and his own rifle are brought into work and Italian Boss starts plan B, blow the little sods to hell before they move into his office and take over the company.

Day 1: Italian boss manages to catch one and Mr Squirrel is now eating acorns in hell.

Day 2 : Squirrel caught in trap sometime in the morning but the boss is busy and only finds out this in the afternoon.Bang Bang Squirrel kill count 2.

Weekend comes and Italian Boss has to leave the trap empty due to some UK Law about cruelty to animals so boss decides to clean out trap and leave it. Accidentally leaves peanut butter jar outside next to (now closed for weekend) trap.

Someone attempts to break in to our premises at the weekend and nick the IT kit we keep in stock but gets no further than the perimiter fence. Italian boss is the name on the security list and comes down to check premises. He is more pissed off that the squirrels have managed to chew their way through the plastic bottle to get to the peanut butter rather than the small amout of Chav damage done to our fence. Squirrels 1 Italian Boss 2 (Chav sent for community service).

New working week starts and Italian Boss is very busy and decides to get a few people to join him in exterminating the vermin, the people who are in this little club get the chance to fire a rifle at a caged animal(This seemed to appeal to a number of the borderline nutjobs you usually get working in IT) but will also have to check the cage at certain times of the day and inform the building (via fire alarm test) that something has been caught. All of this is done in a very militarised way and my boss has picked up the nickname Mussolini from certain staff members, he also keeps muttering about never letting our guard down (seriously does he think we aregoing to be ambushed and held POW by a crack commando team of squirrels).

I mentioned to my boss that the whole extermination thing may be taking its toll on him and it should be something that a professional exterminator or maybe the handyman we hire should do but I was told that it was something that Italian Boss wanted to see out himself and that my suggestion was weird (but I am allowed to still join if I want to- my guess is I will be forcefully recruited if I refuse). So people of B3ta should I join this little elite club of social misfits or should I hide under my desk and await a fightback from the squirrel army.

Oh and the ones that are shot are (Allegedly) skinned and cooked up by the guy who works here and thinks he is Bear Grylls- the one shot recently is going into a curry- my idea of turning it into a helicopter work of art was shot down immediatley.

Apologies for the length
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 27 Jun 2012, 11:11, 3 replies)

Is he using an actual rifle for this, or just an airgun?
(tyrellsOwl, Wed 27 Jun 2012, 11:35, closed)

Erm
I'm not the best at identifying guns but from what he says about them I do know that he has one high powered air rifle with an open sight that he uses at the moment but also has another one in a case in his office that he calls his powerful one that is more rifle looking and has a scope on it.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 27 Jun 2012, 12:42, closed)

Lol does he break the barrel down at the front to load it or does it go in the side at the back?

I only ask because the rules are a lot stricter with a real firearm about where you can use it. A real rifle would also be loud, whereas any air rifle wont be louder than a slamming car door
(tyrellsOwl, Wed 27 Jun 2012, 15:28, closed)