With apologies to Julie Andrews
Big hoopy earrings and slag tags on mothers
Corsas with alloys and lily-assed brovvaz
annoying ring tones, played on the train
These are the things that I treat with disdain.

Tracksuits of velvet and estuary diction,
Low slung jean beltlines and Dan Brown's crap fiction
six inches of bare flesh, twixt thong top and arse,
These are a few of the things that lack class.

Girls in white Kappa and benefit culture,
Jeremy Kyle, the sensationalist vulture,
Closeups of z-listers thigh flab in Zoo,
Oh what is this world now coming to?

Owning a loud gob,
Having a boob-job,
Paid for by your Dad,
I simply cannot bear these commonest things,
I can't be the only one so mad?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 16 Oct 2008, 21:59, 24 replies)

stunning *click, click*
But damn you for putting that tune in my head.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:01, closed)

Just one thing...
six inches of bare flesh, twixt thong top and arse,
These are a few of the things that lack class.

These two lines don't rhyme...

*clicks anyway*
( le brian, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:01, closed)

depends if you are a southerner or not
Oh shit, I'm not starting the extra r thing again. We're not French - yay!

*Also - click*
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:04, closed)

Yeah
now we know you speak posh!!

Grarse = Grass
Clarse = Class

tee hee
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 9:20, closed)

I speak very posh
when the occasion demands it.

Although my parents are both Londoners, I was raised on the Essex/Suffolk border and have seen the local dialect wiped out by the ever encroaching hideousness that is Estuary English.

As a result, I have an accent as phony as Tony Blair's handshake.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 9:50, closed)

I think
We have our winner.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:02, closed)

LOLZ
That's a neato! Youtube it.
(Pua'a ega-ega How much chuck norris could a woodchuck chuck?, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:06, closed)

Brilliant.
Fucking top clarss...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:18, closed)

Fantastic
Have yourself a good hard click.

In every possible euphemistic sense.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:19, closed)

YAY
trés gut ja
(frankiescigars, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:22, closed)

This
Is simply brilliant. Have a *click* :-)
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 22:54, closed)

in my bestest Borat accent....
I LIIIIIIIIIKE! :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:06, closed)

I doubt anything
could be more common (and perhaps a bit perverse) than a dad paying for his daughters boob job.

Well done.
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 23:55, closed)

fan-fucking-tastic!
clicky x
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 0:42, closed)

Oh it would be lovely
if this could get into the charts, as a backlash against the god-awful version of Favourite Things made by that 'band' Big Brovaz a few years ago, that name-checked 'drop top kompressors' and 'Gucci dresses' and suchlike!

Fabulous lyrics! *clicks*
(Ovaltina, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 1:08, closed)

First click
I've made on this qotw (and possibly the only one I'll make).

Ms Andrews would love it.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 1:54, closed)

damnit
i just started humming the tune, and my colleagues are looking at me like i'm some kind of crackhead.
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 2:01, closed)

top marks.

( postbear has metal knees, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 6:16, closed)

Wow!
In a thick black country, common as muck accent, complete with tattoos and three different coloured babies, 'I luv it, well dun'
( randomwomanwholikespink, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 8:02, closed)

Dats fahking great,
innit.


*fahking clicks*
( Moey, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:56, closed)

Awesome
*clicks madly*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:47, closed)

Genius.
And, thanks to the anominity of the web - 99% of the posters will claim credit for that in their local this evening, having steered conversation onto common people!

A well deserved click.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:20, closed)

Well played that man
Can I pay for your moob job?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 10:23, closed)

Jolly good stuff
I do like how the QOTW evolves from time to time with these little diversions.

Especially when it's such a shit question. Well done in the face of an extremely uninspiring topic.

*click*
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 3:01, closed)