Silk Road
I've decided that Silk Road is a Euro/US experiment in drugs legalisation and taxation. I'd like to know how to go about starting my conspiracy theory. Do I need to make an Internet site?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 17:59, 1 reply)

Maybe QOTW is better off without whining miserables than trolls (lads).
(TheManHimself Beer Drinkin', Breath Stinkin', Sniffing Glue, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 17:17, Reply)

Everyone should be automatically added to the organ donor register at birth

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 15:54, 30 replies)

i believe
that all soap operas should be banned, on the basis that they are complete and utter mind-rotting dribbleshite.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 15:39, 26 replies)

Bill Hicks is over-rated.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 14:57, 18 replies)

Holding left-wing views is edgy and cool
and above all - sensible.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 14:12, 3 replies)

Before onboard computers in cars.
In the 80's when my pal and I were mere youngsters, we popped into town and bought a Commodore 64 with his Christmas money.

His Dad picked up us up from town in his car and on the way home we were involved in a very minor traffic accident: Just a small prang leaving the bumper with a small dent.

Upon our return to my mate's house with the new computer, his Mum saw the dent in the bumper and when mental. She exclaimed she didn't want the computer in the house as the cause of the traffic accident was obviously the Commodore 64. Apparently it had somehow 'computerised the car'.
(l0bst3r, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 14:04, 1 reply)

They say Jimmy Saville was a monster
but he bought me all kinds of presents.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Our board of directors
believe that it's more important to pay a 'decent' dividend to the shareholders than try to preserve jobs or coditions for the employees. They also believe in 'rewarding outstanding performance' by freezing pay for the majority and only giving a rise to 'top performers'.

Cunts.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 13:36, 47 replies)

The time I went a bit mad...
It was a dark period in my life, triggered by some random maniac trying to attack me in the street. I became a recluse and, without really realising it, I went a bit doolally.

Things came to a head when I was vomiting everytime I had to go out the front door and managed to convince myself that maybe this wasn't right and I should see a doctor.

So, I see the doctor, burst into tears and explain all my feelings of anxiety and stuff.
"Anything else you need to tell me? Any paranoid thoughts?" my doctor asks in his textbook manner

"Well.." I began. "I'm pretty sure someone at work poisoned my coffee the other day with bleach. And I'm convinced that there are no other countries in the world."

"What?!?!" my doctor spluttered, almost choking on his pen lid.

"Yeah, it makes perfect sense. The planes just take off, fly over the sea for a bit and then land in a different area of the country. It's all just a gimmick to charge us more money."

I'm suprised that I wasn't sectioned there and then. Instead he explained that these weren't normal thoughts and that what I needed was strong medication and a long course of cognative therapy.

Still, that over a decade ago and I'm much better now.
I only drink coffee that I've made myself.
(plant rolls out of bed like a fat wobbly tub of lard, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 13:12, 4 replies)

I received a message from a friend last night that read
You do not know for a fact that the Boston incident was true, false or a complete media set up. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. As long as you don't victimise people. I post what I post in order to try and get people to ask questions about things they normally just accept with no real understanding. Call me a conspiracy theorist or whatever. But there are far too many things that go unexplained, which no one pays attention to and you saying stuff like that makes people feel too ashamed or embarrassed to think or question authority.
( Peej, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 13:08, 4 replies)

My best mate doesn't like Doctor Who
He says it's a crappy kids' show that adults should be ashamed to watch
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:53, 8 replies)

QOTW should be kept open.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:40, 1 reply)

Supermatt fucks kids

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:37, 5 replies)

Ignore 2.0 works perfectly and has certainly stopped the Miseries and stalkers from crying and moaning.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:28, 2 replies)

Eating pizza and never leaving the house turns you into a fat cunt, you fat fucking cunt.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:31, 1 reply)

I covered the poetry section of my local bookshop in greenery, against their wishes.
That was my contra-verse aisle be-leaf.

Did I do it right, mumsie?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:16, 1 reply)

Everything will end up being all right.
not great like some gleaming star trek future. not shit like a post apocalyptic termanator esq wasteland.

just all right.

never underestimate humans' talent for over exageration.
the future is mediocre.
(magictorch, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:49, 13 replies)

There is no Dana.
Only Zuul.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:07, 1 reply)

Any adult with a pet larger than a goldfish,
is trying to fill a child-shaped hole in their life.
When they start referring to them as "my babies," or telling everyone that a new puppy is "just like a child", it's probably a sign that their gonads have committed suicide.

Thinking of adopting a cat? It won't love you back, you know.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:01, 17 replies)

Jeez, let's see, where to begin.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone, sterilised at the age of 12. IQ test at the age of 20, and if you pass, you get a voucher for a reversal of your sterilisation, a voucher you can cash in when your income rises above the national average. Obviously not all the reversals will work, but hey, some people can't have kids, tragic, but there it is. In order to make up for this, there's a lottery where people with reversal vouchers but not enough income are drawn out of a hat and allowed to breed and given benefits to support the children. The cost of that would be a drop in the ocean compared the billions we piss away supporting the ever growing broods of sexually incontinent chavs currently.
=====================
National referendum on the death penalty. Two questions:
1. Do you believe we should reintroduce the death penalty? YES/NO.
2. Given that our system of justice is administered by fallible humans and that therefore sooner or later corruption, manipulation or just plain mistakes are inevitable, do you, personally, volunteer to be the first innocent person to be executed? YES/NO.
Only people answering YES to BOTH questions get their votes counted as a "yes". Anyone answering YES/NO is permanently barred from ever holding public office. In the unlikely event that the YES/YES votes outnumber the YES/NO and NO/NO combined, we immediately execute all the people who voted YES/YES, as per their request, and re-run the referendum safe in the knowledge that national average IQ has just tripled.
==================
Introduce a new tax based on body mass index. Anyone with a BMI under, say, 26, doesn't pay anything. Every year on or around April 6th everyone gets weighed and measured at their local post office or whatever, and then for every point above 26, you get an extra 1% added to your income tax, or deducted from whatever benefits you get. Fat people cost us extra in healthcare costs, we should be recouping it from them directly in proportion to how fucking disgustingly blobby they are.
==================
Also, Twitter is a complete and utter waste of time and entirely useless.
(SonofRojBlake, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:57, 43 replies)

Breast-related pearoast -
My ex believed that a man feeling a woman's breasts made them grow. He let this slip when we were in our early 20s, and solemnly explained that the more erotic massage the breasts received, the bigger they'd get, so it was obvious that a woman with a large bust must be a trollop.

There's more: apparently, a right-handed man must be careful not to favour his wife's left titty or she'd end up lopsided. A virtuous married woman with a big bust must have cleverly chosen a devoted boob man.

When I'd stopped laughing hysterically and picked myself up off the floor I asked, as his own mother had a huge bosom was she a slapper too?

Also, as my boobs were much smaller than his mum's it seems that I could have got away with revealing rather less about my sexual history than I had!

Why, you ask, was this rather silly belief controversial? The ex was a high school science teacher at the time, responsible for sex education. The mind boggles.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:44, 13 replies)

Kids are great, and everyone should have some.
They're the light in the world, and unwrap each day as a new gift, in their own, unique ways.

You don't know the meaning of "love" until you've got your own kids, and they're so lovely, and fun - the world is a playground to them, and we should let them play.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:37, 9 replies)

It feels better with a condom on!
I'm not sure how anyone of either sex could think otherwise. Scabs cause terrible chafing.
( Muns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 9:25, 3 replies)

Your favourite band is shit.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 8:58, 7 replies)

Make up your mind
Transexuals are human beings, they absolutely should be entitled to the same rights as all human beings.

However, if you claim to be a woman in a man's body, or a man in a woman's body, then go ahead and get the fucking operation already. Otherwise you're just a transvestite.

That's my cunt reversal belief.

[Edit] Bollocks to ringofyre for being tl;dr
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 8:42, 13 replies)

I love my mum but
Just remembering other gems:
1. Women should not fly planes. They have PMT and may crash it in a bad mood.
2. Women are not as good as men at work - sister and (ex) husband were both in same profession but I overheard mum say that she wouldd much rather deal with son-in-law than her own daughter because he was a man.
3. I was not allowed to join the cubs or scouts as they had militaristic uniforms and were just one step away from the Hitler youth.
4. Some people are genuinely gay (sorry homosexual - see below) but most are just trying to be trendy or going through a phase.
5. Religion is all rubbish - think we agree there!
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 8:33, 1 reply)