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This is a question Crap meals out

I'd chosen to take my in-laws to one of my favourite restaurants, only to discover it had changed hands the week before. We waited half an hour to get menus. The waitress broke the cork in the wine we ordered. She got our order wrong. The food was luke-warm, mine was overcooked, the rest was undercooked. After waiting another 40 minutes for the last course, we were told that we couldn't have any as the chef had "forgotten to de-frost the puddings".

Let's just say they didn't get a tip. Tell us of your crap meals out.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2006, 14:22)
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Mayo with that?

I used to work in the “restaurant” at Slough Ice Rink back in the late 80s. It was shit. Imagine the burger joint in Beavis & Butthead, except with lower recruiting standards, less rigorous working practices and zero supervision.

One guy who worked there was a likeable idiot called Mark. Absolute animal he was. He used to have a rather pervy fascination with one of the professional ice skaters that used to train there, a Scandinavian girl called Charlotta. Fair play she was proper fit and most blokes there fancied her, but you could tell with him it was a little on the wrong side.

Anyhoo, one day Charlotta came in and ordered a chicken salad roll. When the order was brought out back the usually terminally lazy and uninterested Mark suddenly perked up and jumped at the chance to make it. To everybody’s great surprise.

When he finished he stood in the middle of the kitchen holding the aloft in front of all the staff, then said “watch this” – then suddenly pulled out his erect cock, opened the roll up, and proceeded to wank briefly but vigorously until he popped his plums all over the contents. To everybody’s great surprise.

He then calmly tidied the roll up a bit, put the top back on, took it out front and served it to her. We all stood behind the counter and watched her eat it.

BTW Charlotta if you happen to be reading this (as if) – it was Mark Cleversley wot dun it. And he’s dead now so you can’t get him back. Ha. (but if you'd like to come and wank over my sandwiches feel free, any time)
(, Thu 27 Apr 2006, 17:25, closed)

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