Anonymous cringe
In the colonoscopy suite, we had someone who started moaning the second the scope touched her bumhole. She was heavily sedated, but of course you can still talk and move. The doctor was a tiny (4' 11")little Indian guy who was visibly embarrassed by his patient moaning and thrusting her rear at him, saying "Yes, yes, YES Jeffrey, give it to me! Fuck my sweet ass! Oh baby, you've got the biggest cock" etc. The nurses were cringing on her behalf and I was making a personal note to self to NOT be sedated for my colonoscopy when it comes around.

This went on for the entire 40 minutes. She must have thought ole Jeffrey had taken Viagra.

It doesn't end there. The next year, the same patient came in again. None of us remembered her until the scope was slathered with warm lube and positioned. Then as soon as it slid in an inch, she started up with "You fucking pillow-biting cocksucker Jeffrey! I hate your motherfucking guts, get the hell away from me before I rip off your dick and feed it to you!" And so on.

We are in pain with holding back the tears of laughter and biting our knuckles. Dr. Patel is quite surprised and says in his vaudeville hall Indian accent, "Oh my goodness, she is having a falling out with this Jeff-er-ry person."
Then he said, "Well, at least she is having the annual checkups, eh?"


I almost did a poo in my scrubs, trying to be professional.
We called Dr. Patel "Jeffrey" for two years after that.




The best part is she'll never know.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 21:43, 11 replies)

Hmmmm...
Got her phone number?

/coat
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 21:56, closed)

You deserve better, Loon
She looked like she could have been from WV: 29 but looked 50, rode hard and put away wet.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:06, closed)

Heehaw
29 but looked 50, rode hard and put away wet

I'm SO using that one!
(blueberrypossum wants to Jaffa your Cake, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:22, closed)

The sad part is
that I know exactly what the original meaning of that is, having been a horse groom.

But worse: I know what West Virginia women tend to look like.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:25, closed)

That's right!
You're in VA, right? My people are from East Tennessee and I have a few cousins that look like that.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:28, closed)

Ayup.
I've met some women out thataway that looked like Jack Palance in drag.

Then again, I've seen those elsewhere as well... just not as many or as weathered before 40. Smoking and harsh weather will do that to you.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:31, closed)

You have the best job in the world.
And especially for this website : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 22:01, closed)

i wept
metaphorical tears of joy

i never cry, unfortunately
(CannedLaughter, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 0:05, closed)

I wouldn't want that job
I'd get bored of putting things into asses. Who'd want that?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 7:43, closed)

Sometimes it's interesting
I always like the challenge of someone with a bad case of anal warts. It's a good old puzzle trying to find the hole!

bp1.blogger.com/_VKR5vwBAifk/Rpi-FrAdSII/AAAAAAAABrc/7WE6LAxC58w/s320/anal_warts.jpg
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 17:54, closed)

Pure gold!
and Dr Patel rocks!
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 5:07, closed)