the free bloody presbyterians
when i was 9 i was invited by my religious best friend on a week-long camping trip with his church. there was to be canoeing, football and cooking on fires, i was so stoked.

it was a different story when we arrived. i was separated from my pal, and allocated a new friend. other than to tell me that i woudlnt be talked to or be invited to take part in the games unless i was "saved by jesus", he didnt talk to me.

it seemed like every religious kid had brought an infidel pal along to be "saved". the infidels were largely ignored, and kept in ever-moving circles which prevented us from talking to one another. the only chance of us getting to play and talk with other kids was if we gave our life to the lord.

i lasted four days, not out of resistance, but out of genuine confusion. on my fourth day i had to queue - queue - up with other poor kids to be saved. you'd never believe the number of friends i had once i got saved! my mum says i came home preaching about the love of the baby jesus.

theres nothing even remotely funny about this story, so apologies for that. however, it has been positive, as i cant take any religious person seriously now. it certainly gave me a real hatred of religious people in norther ireland. they're all evil.
(big fat lazy man on a sofa is giving his piles a bloody good clawing, Tue 31 Jan 2006, 11:30, Reply)