McDonalds
As a lot of people, I used to work there.

I won't complain about the job, frankly it was the best job I've ever had in terms of job satisfaction, from cooking your own breakfast ("Triple Sausage McMuffin please!") to serving on the drive through after just having my trouser pulled down, to running Cannibal Corpse (Hammer Smashed Face) through the in store speaker system. Was ace!

However, as this is about customers from hell, i'll talk about a couple that I saw happen to others, and happen to myself.


-Chav elects to throw a milkshake at a 'member of staff'(clue in the '), covering the back of his head as he's backing out from the toilet with wet hands.
Turns out he wasn't a member of staff, but a bit of a hardman. The chav learnt that with a bloody nose, a black eye, and a full contingent of staff refusing to acknowledge they saw anything except for this lad throw the milkshake ("Maybe you slipped" quoth the manager)



- I'd spent half the evening tidying the lobby area, and was doing my final sweep in the 5 minutes before closing the restaurant. Group of kids has been in the corner for the last half hour throwing shit on the floor, and then denying it was them. Their mates then come in and 'accidentally' kick the pile of rubbish I've swept up. Twice.
At this point I'm gritting my teeth, trying not to rise to them, so I just laugh and say "Mind out twinkletoes, anyone would think that was intentional!"
At which point he turns, and spits in my face.
Within 30 seconds my manager had vaulted the counter to stop me from smacking this lad's head into the nearest table. He storms off with his mates, claiming "He'll get the police on us, he's connected" (To what?)
Police turn up, surprise surprise, no-one had seen a thing, it was our word against theirs. Considering they had a history already, they were then bollucked for wasting police time.



Last but not least, the store manager was a woman called Clare. She wasn't skinny, but was by no means fat at all. She was a great manager, but horrible to be told off by, because you always knew that she was right, and would never go over the top.
However, this changed one night. A bloke storms in, pushing the customers out of the way (including a pregnant woman with her family) and throws a Chicken sandwich into Clare's face. In the quarter of a second it took for everyone to fall silent across the restaurant, you could almost hear the mayo sizzling on her face, such was her anger.
There was another manager in the restaurant who had worked with her for 10 years, and says he's never seen her that angry.
Long story short, she grabs his tie, pulls his face over the counter, and smacks him square in the nose, with a nice crunch.
She then proceeds to bash his head into the counter a few times, before letting him fall to the floor, dragging him to the glass door, and throwing him THROUGH it. She then asks me to take over her till, and goes off to calm down, and have a little cry (adrenaline always mixed her up a bit).
She also phones her rugby playing husband, who turns up by the time the guy is able to stand up, and simply lays him over his shoulder, throws him into the boot of the car, and goes for a very bumpy ride, before dropping him off at the police station a little while later.
We never saw him again, but he was instructed by his PAROLE OFFICER to write a letter of apology to her, and never come our way again. It turned out he'd not been long out of prison for assault, he supposedly had an 'anger problem'.

However, the best bit of this entire story? The letter was addressed to "The Mental Bitch That Broke My Nose".

I think it's still framed in her living room now.

Length? A4
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:38, 8 replies)

Brilliant! *click*
Especially for running Cannibal Corpse through the store system.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:14, closed)

*clicks hard*
Excellent tale of Clare, good stuff.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 14:40, closed)

I think Clare is my new heroine
*click*
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:30, closed)

it's rare that I mean it when i say lol
but today I do!
(europe-who, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 16:07, closed)

Great!
Thank You!
You just made a shitty wet Friday a bit better.
(shadders, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 20:37, closed)

Clicks
Excellent stuff.
(Big D, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 21:27, closed)

Ace!
*clicks* and you're quite right, there are occasional moments of satisfaction to be derived from working in such places. I used to make spectacular quarterpounder deluxes for my lunch!
(Dr. Scambolic, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 16:25, closed)

i'd LOVE that to be true
;)
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 13:23, closed)