Ghost Train
It was my first trip to the fairground. My little brother and I were terribly excited. Clutching candy floss, we queued impatiently for the scariest experience imaginable: THE GHOST TRAIN! Mum bought our tickets from a creepy, wizened old man in a battered top hat and we scrambled into the tatty black train car, hearts fluttering.

The safety bar came down and it jerked into life. We squealed, rounding the first corner and entering the tunnel through a curtain of curiously sticky strands... then into pitch darkness. As the older brother, I reassured my whimpering 5-year old sibling by whispering to him "you are going to die here". A bone-chilling scream made us both jump, then we chuckled when we noticed the tinny loudspeakers. Our eyes adjusted quickly to reveal an underwhelming blackened room with plastic spiders and cobwebs dangling from the ceiling, glow-in-the-dark paintings of monsters and a few badly-dressed mannequins in odd poses. The only compensation was the lo-fi 'Thriller' being piped in at high volume.

We both had a good laugh, relaxing as it became clear that it was, in fact, rubbish. Until all hell broke loose as a fucking REAL SKELETON jumped onto our car. It shrieked wildly and stank of pure evil*; my brother and I screamed in terror as the horrible cunt waved its boney fingers about in front of our faces. The last straw came when it pressed its skull up against my face so hard, I was convinced it would kill us both. In self-defence, I punched as hard as I could and landed it right where the boney fuck's nose should have been. What I wasn't expecting was for the demon to reel back in pain, mutter "ow! you little shit!" and clamber off the car to disappear behind a curtain. We emerged back into daylight and my brother thanked me for saving us both. We jumped out of the car and ran back to our mum to tell her of the adventure.

I will never forget the parting gift as I turned to point at the exit; the tragic sight of a forlorn fat man in a badly-made skeleton outfit dabbing a tissue at his bloodied nose, mascara tears running down his mask. Take that, skeleton.

*a smell I later in life recognised to be 'gin'
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 7:51, 5 replies)

Beating the undead FTW
"Take that, skeleton" - clickworthy on it's own...
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 10:38, closed)

What would you do if the dead came to life?
punch the fuckers in the nose and hope they run off shouting obscenities.

classic...*click*
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Wed 29 Jul 2009, 11:53, closed)

Gin=pure evil
*giggles*
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Wed 29 Jul 2009, 14:47, closed)

I'm not going to click
Because gin IS NOT evil. It is made of awesomes.

The story was good though.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 4:32, closed)

I don't think it's evil any more
but when I was 8, it was one of the worst things I'd ever smelled. Every time I have a G&T I get skeletal flashbacks...
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 5:01, closed)